Tale of Two Cs
by SilverExcel115
Summary: After the events of Reconstruction, Carrie and Caboose are given a whole new base. Mischief ensues. Takes place in "Through New Eyes", after Season 6, through Relocated, and a little into Season 7. Don't expect much mature stuff if at all, it's Caboose. I am not even sure if I'll continue this, I guess we'll see.
1. Relocated

**Author's Note: This is just a test bed for future writing, and this is including "Through New Eyes". It'll cover the Relocated series and that's about it, that's if I people want it. The Main characters are Carrie and Caboose with others appearing as cameos. Love it, hate it, I will try to fix issues but otherwise I don't care.**

Relocated

RECORDING START [2:00:23]

 **(AN: Maybe someone can explain to me how the aI service numbers work.)**

So, this is the audio of Carrie, codenamed Iota, service number ITA 0651-9. It's been two to 3 months since that whole incident with freelancer command. The chairman came out to thank us for exposing the crimes committed by the program and its director Dr. Leonard Church. As a gift, gave us the former bases at Valhalla. I know boring right. Caboose sure thought otherwise….

 _Flashback_

Caboose is seen standing in front of Blue Base.

"OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING!" Caboose excitedly cried jumping for joy. Caboose turn to his right and asks, "Carrie what do you think?"

A familiar teenage avatar appears, Carrie takes a nice look at the base before them.

She let out a whistle, "Huh….not a bad place I'll admit."

"This is going to be the best place ever! We are going to have the most fun!" Caboose chered.

"I don't doubt that," Carrie chuckles.

 _Flashback ends_

Lockett ended up hooking up with Doc Rowe at the end of this ordeal, or at least, if they didn't get together….they definitely are unusually close for "friends, quote on quote. The chairman said he couldn't let us go because they failed to catch the Meta after this ordeal. So he placed us here in this valley, said it would keep us safe for the time being. He also gave Lockett his old rank back and then placed him as our overseer, but he told us as far as we know, he's just the same as always. He just now has to report to the Chairman every now and then. He spends most of the time at the HQ since the Chairman placed him at a desk job to help him get used to his position again along with the classes and all that bullshit. Lockett comes down once a week for a visit. Lockett said that Wash was still in jail and that he was doing everything he could to get him out, but without any other evidence there's not much he can do. Oh speaking about evidence…..We uh, we still have Epsilon. I don't think we ever told Lockett. I know how I got past security, let's just say I was very quite, but for the memory unit….

 _Flashback_

Caboose was standing at a checkpoint with a trio of guards standing duty. One of the guard was asking him questions.

"And are you sure you don't have any UNSC property that could be bagged as evidence?"

"Nope," Caboose cheerfully replied. The guard checks it off on his clipboard. The guard then narrows his eyes at the memory unit.

"Hey what's that?" he asks.

"What's what?" Caboose asks innocently.

"That thing by your side." pointing at the unit.

Caboose's cover started to crack and Caboose nervously replied, "Uh….it's….um...it's a music….player? Music player."

The guard seemed puzzled by this, "Huh, it doesn't look like any music player I've ever seen. Can you play some?"

Caboose nods, "Sure, here let me-Oh my god what is that!" Caboose turns and points to somewhere to the right. All the guards turn and look in said direction. And Caboose sneaks right past them. The guards then looked back and were all perplexed to see that Caboose had just disappeared.

"Huh? Where did he go?" the main one asked.

"I don't know." another replied.

The main one shrugs and relies, "Whatever. Next!"

 _Flashback ends_

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out. Otherwise things are fine. We mostly spend time with the Reds….

 _Linbreak_

"Suck it blue!" Simmons cried.

"Yeah suck it!" Grif also cried followed by more gunfire and explosions.

 _Linebreak_

….Watching the clouds….

 _Linebreak_

Caboose is lying in the field with Carrie lying on his right shoulder.

"I think that one looks like a bunny!" Caboose points at said cloud.

"Hmm…." Carrier thought for a moment, "I think it looks more like a dog."

 _Linebreak_

Caboose even tells us stories about his past adventures, I have to fact check them with the others out of the most part he get's most of it right. That reminds me, I asked Caboose why he didn't give Epsilon over to the authorities like Wash asked, Caboose said he will. He just wants to build a new best friend first before he gave Epsilon away. I decided to help him. I mean….how bad could it be? This is Carrie, signing off.

RECORDING END [2:08:45]

 **Author's Note: Yeah I don't know how to tell tow event like that, so for now you get a bunch of line breaks. That is all.**


	2. Just Another Day

**Author's Note: I feel like I should tell the original readers of "Through New Eyes" I'm writing this. I dunno, maybe they'll figure it out on their own. Forgot to mention this to, this story will also follow Rowe slightly as Caboose and Carries care taker essentially.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue.**

Just Another Day….

It was a sunny day in Valhalla….not like it's EVER anything else. A figure in crimson recon armor could be seen lying on one of the hills. Moments of silence are always appreciated, this is what Doc Rowe thought, whenever she wasn't watching the Reds or Caboose, she would often find herself sprawled out on a hill with her helmet off staring at the sky. She often found herself spending much of her free time staring off into the sky blue void.

"This is nice," thought Rowe as she held a flower up in front of her face just blocking out the sun's light. Rowe was at peace, with no worries….

"Hey Doc!" a voice called out. Rowe was suddenly snapped back into reality. She remembered why she was there. She sat up and looked over and saw two soldiers, one in maroon and another in orange. They both shifted a little. Rower guessed they still weren't use to seeing her without her helmet.

She looked over to the maroon one and said, "Yeah Simmons, what is it?"

"Sarge said he needed to talk with us," Simmons called back.

Rowe let out a sigh of defeat, she replied, "Yeah, coming." She then got up and grabbed her helmet and placed back onto her head and proceed to walk back to base with her two fellow soldiers.

Lance Corporal Jacklyn Rowe, the second in command of Red Team and also the team's medic. It had come quite the surprise when her team learned that she was a female, not that she cared. With deep brown eyes and sandy blond hair that just reached past her ears, Rowe was definitely a looker, but at the same time she also commanded a presence that not even her sergeant questioned once she had put her foot down. Guess that was just one of many requirements medics needed, next to a soft calming voice of course.

Grif then continues where he last left off, "As I was saying, just think, you know how people say, "If I knew then what I knew now?" Well, that person is you, and you already know it. And the "then" is right now." Rowe wasn't even here for the full conversation and it's already giving her a headache.

"Grif," she groaned, "I don't think that'd how it works."

"Don't you guys regret anything from our last assignment?" Grif asked. "Like all your mistakes?"

Simmons cries, "I didn't make mistakes, you made mistakes."

"Well to be fair Simmons," Rowe cut in, "You did erase the Blues from command's files."

"That wasn't a mistake," Simmons argued, "We gained a significant advantage over the Blues now that they don't exist!"

Rowe then deadpans, "You're right….it was a mistake of mine letting you do it."

"Exactly!" Grif exclaimed. "See Simmons, you set too high of a bar, and that made it harder for the rest of us."

"There was a bar in the first place?" Rowe joked.

"There practically isn't," Simmons scoffs, he then turns to Grief and retorts, "There is no "rest of us," there's just you, and you suck. The bar has nothing to do with it. If the bar was set any lower, you'd just hit your fucking head on it. Or accidentally eat it. In the process of you sucking, you managed to not only drag down us with you, but also Doc Rowe, the most competent member of our team."

Grif scofs, "Simmons, you need to loosen up. We got a good thing going here. I mean, this is an easy gig. We need to make the most of it. You should question authority every now-and-then."

"I question authority!" Simmons stutters.

Grif rolls his eyes, "Asking Sarge, "Can we have more work?" is not questioning authority."

Simmons replies, "Well, Grif, technically that is a question…."

"Stop it," Grif groans.

"Besides," Simmons counters, "When has Rowe ever questioned authority?"

Both Rowe and Grif share a glance and ask, "Really?"

 _Flashback_

Sarge walks into Rowe's infirmary dragging Grif along with Simmons following closely, and sees Rowe lounging on the couch listening to music. Rowe opens one of her eyes just and crack and sees Sarge.

"What do you want?" She grunts.

"My man here has just sustained a grizzly wound and he needs healing!" Sarge announces. Rowe lets out a sigh as she gets out of her chair.

"Show me," she murmurs. Sarge proceeds to show her a small bruise on Grifs arm.

"I said I'm fine! He shot me!" Grif cried.

"He's delirious," Simmons claimed, "He needs immediate medical attention."

Rpowe sighs, "It's just a bruise."

"Oh no!" Sarge cries, "He's too far gone! We just need you to say the words so I can put him out of his misery!"

Rowe turns and asks Grif, "Can you move it fine?" Grif nods. Rowe turns to the others and waits for an explanation.

"Well?" Sarge and Simmons ask impatiently. "Can we kill him?"

"I think he'll live."

"Told you she would say that, assholes!" Grif cried.

Simmons scratches his head, "You sure there isn't anything you can do to him?" _To him?_ Rowe thought.

Sarge also asks, "Yeah, maybe amputate his arm, or put him through surgery or do that bone thing you do."

Rowe raises an eyebrow and asks, "Are you asking me to break his arm and then reset it?"

"What?" Grif cries. "No! I'm fine!"

"Yes!" Simmons and Sarge reply. "Can you?"

"Seriously guys!" Grif protests, "Get the fuck off of me! This isn't funny!"

Rowe calmly tells them, "Get the fuck out of my infirmity." She then proceeds to sit back down on the chair, turn the radio back on, and close her eyes. The team had no choice but to do just that.

 _Flashback Ends_

"Either way," Rowe coments, "Simmons does have a point about something."

"He does?"

"I do?"

Rowe shrugs "All you ever seem to do Grif, is waste time." As they walk up to the base, they notice Sarge doing something with the jeep.

Grif scoffs, "Waste time? I make time. Every second Sarge spends arguing with me is every second I don't have to do something stupid like clean our guns or whatever it is he's ever making Simmons do."

Simmons angrily swats at Grifs head, he misses of course, "You dumbass! We have to maintain our equipment. Otherwise…"

*boom* The explodes sending parts everywhere.

"Son of a bitch!" Sarge grunts.

Grif points, "See? That should keep him busy for at least..."

"Simmons! Grif! Rowe! Front and center!"

"Dammit!" Grif cursed.

"Nice plan, jackass," Simmons jeers, "Clearly, it's working flawlessly."

"Shut up Simmons," Rowe hisses.

"Hurry up idiots!" Sarge pauses for a moment, "And medic. We have a situation on our hands!"

Grif groans, "Sarge, why do you always call us over when you want to talk to us?"

Sarge glares at him, "What? You want me to write you a letter?"

Grif argues, "No. I mean there's three of us. Wouldn't it be more efficient for you to come to us? Instead, we always have to-"

"Shut up Grif!" Sarge cuts in.

Grif then follows with, "See, I just bought us ten more seconds before he can give us something to do."

"Grif, can it!"

"Five more seconds."

"Shutup!" Simmons cried.

"...Two more."

With a slightly amused face, Rowe replies, "I'm starting to see your point."

Sarge then glumly talles them, " We've got a problem, men. I'm trying to upgrade the warthog's weapons system."

"The weapons system?" Simmons asked slightly confused. "Didn't even know there was something wrong with it."

Sarge nods, "Yes, as you'll recall, on our last mission, we encountered that magnetic pulse thingy. So, I thought we could upgrade the warthog to use that technology for a fancy new gun."

Simmons reminded, "You mean the pulse that knocked out our car and made it stall? That technology?"

"Yes."

"You want to add that to the car and activate it on a regular basis?"

"Mhm."

"Specifically in battle?"

"Bingo-bango."

"And you're sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

Rowe just facepalm and sighs, "Not even two days and the circus is already running."

Sarge chuckles, "I think even Lockett himself would be impressed by this. Isn't that right Doc?"

"Oh he'll be impressed," Rowe scoffs, "But he will also tell you that it would have been easier to shrink down one of the starship coil guns and put it onto a jeep. Then he would also add that they have already made one and it would be easier just to request one from command."

"Coilgun?" Simmons asks.

Rowe murmurs, "Yeah, you know, a coilgun, it's like a rail gun 'cetp with coils." Simmons then nods in understanding.

"You've been hanging around Locket too much," Grif mutters before he steps forward and says, "Don't listen to them, sir. I think it's brilliant. The enemy will never see it coming."

Simmons cries, "That's because it won't be coming! It'll be shutting down every time we fire our primary weapon!"

Grif winks at them and replies, "Like I said, brilliant." This causes Rowe to rolls her eyes to the twentieth time this day.

Sarge continues, "The problem is that we still don't have the power online in the base."

"Of course," Rowe replies.

"So, I'm forced to use only my hand tools. I can't get anything done like this."

Simmons offers, "You want us to get the generators running so that you can use your power tools?"

Sarge shakes his head, "No! So I can use the radio to call Lopez. Have him come do it for me."

"When did Sarge turn into Grif," Rowe thought.

Grif cheers, "Nice. Wait, our radios work."

Simmons retorts, "Not our helmet radios, dumbass. The long-range ones. The people who were here before us disabled them all."

Sarge then observes the Blue Base, "It seems to me, the blue base is online. We need to get someone over there to see how they did it. Simmons, it'll be you."

"Why me?" Simmons whinned.

Sarge replied, "I don't think Grif could possibly figure out how electricity works. I'm not even certain he knows what it is."

Grif lazily replies, "The man's right. I have no idea."

Rowe sighs, "Shutup Grif."

Grif then quickly adds, "No, seriously, I have no idea. I always thought it was some kind of invisible magic."

"He's definitely faking it," Rowe groans to Simmons. She then picks up a familiar rocket launcher and says, "Come on Simmons, I'll go with you."

While they were walking Sarge calls out, "Oh, and see if you can figure out what they've been up to over there. They've been pretty quiet lately."

"No problem Sarge," Rowe cheerfully calls back. Simmons just sort of observes Rowe. "What?" she asks.

"I swear, Sarge and Grif never go out of their way to piss you off," Simmons murmurs, "Not often anyway."

Rowe shrugs, "Well….don't fuck with the person who's in charge of putting you back together when you get blown apart."

Simmons ponders for a bit, "Makes sense. Sounds a little boring though."

Rowe replies, "It's not all bad, it does give room for me to fuck with them from time to time. I like pranking."

Simmons then nervously asks, "W-what do you mean?"

She calmly replies, "Well….there was that one time I substituted the scotch with mouthwash, and then the whiskey with Dayquil shortly after."

"WAIT!" Simmons cries out, "That was you?!"

Rowe murmurs, "It does bring up the question, where does this base get all it's alcohol from."

"You also took Grif's stash? Man he's been bitching about that for months."

"Don't worry, I put it to good use," Rowe replies reassuringly.

Simmons breathes a sigh of relief, "Oh good….wait what?"

 **Author's Note: That's the best I could come up with. So if it looks bad, then this may be a reason. In other news, you may not need to read the story that came before this, but it would help with certain details if you're confused with anything. That is all. Uh….something, something….Big brother is watching.**


	3. Hello Neighbor

**Author's Note: It's nice that you guys like reading my stories. Here we go, chapter three….or something.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue, would love to work for Rooster Teeth one day though.**

Hello Neighbor

As Rowe observed the Blue Base through her binoculars, she noticed a bright blue light flaring from the entrance of the base.

"Do you see it?" Simmons asked.

Rowe zooms out, "Yeah," she replies, "Yeah I do." She turns and continues, "You can tell Sarge if you want."

Simmons nods and then gets onto his radio, "Come in, Sarge, come in." He then zooms in and continues, "We can see Blue base. There's no one around but we can see working on something'. We'll have a look closer and see if we can find anyone but I don't think that there-"

"Hello!" Caboose cheerfully greets as he pops up in front of Simmons.

"Jesus!" Simmons screeched which caused Rowe who at the moment was checking something jumps. She looks up with a worried look but then spots the Blue soldier and his cyan companion. "Don't do that," Simmons finally breathes.

"Hello Simmons, Doctor Rowe," Carrie greets. Rowe with a slightly amused look waves back while Simmons just stares like a deer in the headlights. Carrie continues, "Hey guys. Uh, were you guys coming to attack us? We're kind of kind of busy right now."

"Maybe you could attack us later, maybe like uh, like next week?" Caboose suggests he turns to Carrier to confirm this.

"Yeah," Carrie nods, "Next week should be fine." Simmons, still completely confused, looks over to Rowe for guidance.

Rowe notices this and let's out a sigh as she replies, "We're not attacking you, we're just coming over to spy on you."

"Oh okay," Carrie replies.

Rowe also adds, "Oh, and we're also here to figure out how you got your power turned on."

"Oh you mean the invisible magic, yeah," Caboose replied. Carrie looks over to Caboose to process his response, after a few seconds, Carrie shrugs and returns to her passive gaze at the Red pair.

They both ask, "Can you tell us anything about the power?"

Carrie replies, "It was already on when we got here. Very convenient."

"Do you know how it works?"

"Yes."

Simmons looks to Rowe who tries to tell him no, "Can you te-"

"No."

Rowe rolls her eyes, "Told you."

Simmons tries again, "Can you tell us why?"

Carrie deadpans and once again says, "No."

Rowe then finally adds, "And we're trying to figure out what you're doing."

"Doing?" Caboose and Carrie replied suspiciously, they then glance at each other before they quickly answer, "Nothing."

Caboose continues on, "There's no reason to do anything. Why would we be doing something? We wouldn't, that's why. So we're not." Carrie nods in agreement.

Simmons then asks suspiciously "If you're not doing anything then why are you too busy?"

Carrie whispers, "Uh...Caboose? I don't think they are buying it."

Simmons continues, "You just said we couldn't attack you right now because you were too busy." Carrie and Caboose look over to Rowe for confirmation.

"Don't look at me," she defends, "I just work here."

Carrie calmly replies, " ...I'm going to have to ask you two to leave."

Rowe, now surprised by the turn of events asks, "Why? You _are_ doing something, aren't you?"

Carrie scolds, "Both of you stop being so nosy," she then sarcastically remarks, "Do you want to lose all your spying privileges?"

"No we don-" Rowe tries to argue then stops, "Wait, why would we need spying privileges?" She turns to her partner, "Simmons?"

"Yeah!" Simmons cries, "We don't need spying privileges, we're the enemy! We can spy as damn well as we please!"

Carrie grins, "Well since you are the enemy….Caboose?" Caboose raises his rifle.

*click*

"Hey Caboose….Let's take and easy there okay?" Rowe nervously calls out Simmons just stares as if he is trying to process the events unfolding.

Carrie sternly replies, "We won't kill you guys, but that won't stop us from say….shooting your feet."

"Well, it was a good talk but….." Rowe glances over to Simmons, "Uh, we gotta go….we'll talk later 'k?" She then pulls Simmons, who was still frozen, by the arm, "Come along Simmons."

"Bye bye Doctor Rowe!" Caboose cheerfully calls.

When the pair were out of ear range, Simmons finally says, "What the fuck just happened?"

Rowe shrugged, "We just got chased out of Blue base by Caboose as if he was a Texan with a shotgun chasing some kids off of his lawn."

Simmons sighs, "Whatever, let's just go tell Sarge….Look! There he is right now."

"Why is he looking at the top of the base though?" Rowe ask curiously.

"Hey Sarge!" Simmons calls out.

Sarge looks over to the two, "What did you two find out?"

Simmons mutters, "Well, I know their base isn't running on brain power…..at least half of it isn't anyway."

Sarge cheers, "Excellent, that means Grif can still be used as fuel once we get the generators turned on."

Simmons continues, "Caboose has no idea how their power works, Carrie knows but she won't tell us. She said it was already on when they got there."

"Huh, favoritism. Command always did like them best," Sarge grumbled.

Rowe then add, "They did offer to run us an extension cord if we could find one long enough."

Sarge then puts his foot down and sternly growls, "No way, not falling for that."

Rowe looked slightly amused, "Ha, I totally saw that coming."

"They'd choose just the right moment to cut us off from a valuable resource!" Sarge growled.

"A resource we don't even have access to to begin with!" Simmons exasperatedly cried.

Rowe sighs again, "Simmons, calm down before you have a brain aneurysm."

" That's exactly right," Sarge agreed, "They want to soften us up, and then yank the carpet out from under our feet! No way. Besides, Grif's on his way to figuring out this problem as we speak. Heh heh.""

The two just stare at their leader, Rowe at this point facepalms and groans, "Oh mon Dieu! How am I still surprised by the shit you idiots say?" She then asks, "Where is Grif anyway?" Wondering why no one was answering, she looks up and asks, "Simmons?" Simmons points up and Rowe follows his finger. She looks up and she was shocked at what she saw.

"Sarge?" she asks.

"Yeah Doc?"

"That's Grif right?"

"Who else would it be?" Sarge laughed, "Lopez?"

"Okay," Row then takes a deep breath and then…."WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING UP THERE?!" she roared causing both Simmons and Sarge to jump.

"HELP ME DOOOOC!" Grif screamed hysterically.

Simmons then responds with another question, "Why are you surprised at this?"

Sarge stares off at Blue Base, completely ignoring the death glare Rowe was sending, he observes, "I think that blue bolt has something to do with the power and ours isn't working."

"Jesus Chrihihihist!" Grif cried.

"So why didn't you climb up there?" Simmons cries to Sarge.

Sarge incredulously answers, "Me? Afraid of heights. I mean allergic."

Simmons asks in disbelief "You have a fear of heights? Didn't you used to jump out of ships in high orbit during the war?"

"And how do you think I developed that fear? That shit was crazy." Even Rowe seemed calm, most people would be mistaken by Rowe's calm emotionless facial expression, her body movements said otherwise as her hands slowly curled into fists.

"There's a bird up here fucking with me!" Grif cried.

Sarge shouts back, "Quit makin' friends and get up there!"

"Shoo, shoo!"

Simmons then asks, " Sarge, why didn't you just let him use the ladder?" Sarge glances to the right of him and sees the extremely tall ladder propped up against the cliff.

"Uh," Sarge mumbled, "Oh right. I guess we didn't see that before he started up. My bad." At this point, Rowe is physically shaking.

"Goddammit!" Grif cried.

Simmons scratches his head, "How could you miss something that big?"

Sarge shrugs, "Well, what can I say, Simmons. I guess you're a bit more observant than the rest of us."

Simmons snorts, "No kidding." What do potatoes in microwaves and really angry people have in common? They both explode at some point….

"FERME TA GUE-I MEAN, SHUT THE FUCK UP! BOTH OF YOU!" Rowe roared causing both Sarge and Simmons to jump back and yelp. Now panting, she walks up and grabs Sarge by the collar and growls menacingly, "Sarge you have exactly one, ONE minute to get your foot out of your dick unfuck this situation!" She then shoves him and looks back at Grif, but not before adding, "No check that, not your dick, MY dick! You guys are so fucking pathetic that I have managed to grow my own dick and balls!" To emphasize this she proceeds to grab her crotch like that one scene from _Full Metal Jacket_ , or maybe more like Michael Jackson, I'll let you decide.

"Okay, I made it! I'm at the top!" Grif shouted grabbing everyone's attention.

"Whaddaya see?" Sarge shouted.

"What?" Grif shouted back.

"Dumbasses," Rowe called, grabbing their attention, "Radios." She then proceeds to call Grif on her helmet radio. "Grif, can you hear me?"

"Doc?"

"Grif," Rowe continues, "Just try to calm down and tell us, what do you see?"

"What do I see!?" Grif screamed, "I see everything! Because I'm at the top of the fucking world!"

Sarge then gets on the radio and asks, "Can you see the port where to bolt comes out?"

"Yeah, it's right here! But I think it's blocked!"

Sarge continues, "What's blocking it?"

"It looks like a bunch of pieces of a shi-*static*." His mic then cut out due to his screaming.

All three Reds thought he said something else and they all shared looks of disgust before Sarge comments, "...That's disgusting. Who would climb all that way up there just to do that?"

"I said ship-puh!"

The Red's are soon shaken from their previous thoughts and Sarge relies, "Oh right."

"What kind of ship?" asks Simmons.

Rowe deadpans, "Really Simmons?"

"What?" he asks innocently.

"How the fuck should I know? It's in a million pieces! What difference does it make?" Grif cried.

Simmons sheepishly apologizes, "Sorry! I'm just naturally curious."

"I'm gonna spit on you Simmons!"

Rowe facepalms, "Shut up Simmons."

"Shutting up ma'am."

Sarge then turns and asks, "What do you think, Simmons?"

Simmons ponders for a bit, "Mm, it's really hard to say without seeing it, but I guess he could try to clear the blockage. I'm a little concerned though. If he clears it and that bolt goes off, it could kill him."

"That's an excellent thought. And what was the concern you said you had?"

Rowe growled threateningly, "I want him down alive. You don't want to know what I'm going to do to you if he dies."

"Of course Doc Rowe!" Sarge cheerfully responds, of course, he also had his fingers crossed.

Simmons then asks curiously, "Why can't we use the ladder?"

"Well….we can't actually move it," Sarge mumbles slightly embarrassed.

"What do you mean Sarge?" Simmons asks.

Sarge wearily glances at Rowe, "It takes all four of us to accurately move it since it's so big, if ity falls over we'll never be able to pick it up again since you said Caboose is busy."

"My order-er suggestion….my suggestion still stands Sarge." She then shrugs, "I mean, you are still in charge, you don't have to get him back down alive. Though be aware if you don't, I'm always fumbling with things….like grenades…." Rowe looks down with disappointment, "It would be horrible if one accidentally went off and killed our….great, amazing, and fearless NCO."

Sarge nervously replies, "Heh heh, um…..Noted, I'll….I'll take that into consideration."

 **Author's Note: That's another chapter posted, probably it's either crappy or not.** **Oh, and if anyone is wondering why Rowe is speaking French, she's half Cajun if that means anything to you.** **Anyways, thank you all for reading and remember….Big Brother is watching….**


	4. Back Online

**Author's Note: New chapter is up.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs blue, Rooster Teeth does.**

Back Online

"Grif?" Sarge calls through his radio, "We're gonna need you to clear that blockage."

"How?" Grif cried back, "These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?"

Sarge then offers, "Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength."

Grif angrily shouts back, "Yeah? Well, what about people in situations where they really don't give a fuck? What kind of powers do they get?"

Before Sarge could retort Rowe pulls him aside and growls, "Sarge, if you aren't going to provide anything that will help, please….shut the fuck up." She then lets him go.

Simmons then replies, "If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade."

Grif nervously stammers, "Um, is that safe?"

All three of them share a glance, Sarge looks over to Rowe and she warns, "Remember what I told you."

Simmons says back to Grif, "None of this is safe. You're gonna start analyzing now?"

Sarge then runs over ovr cries, "Here, Grif, take one of mine." Sarge then proceeds to throw a grenade at Grif. It falls short of Grif and rolls back down the base detonating and sending a crate flying in the direction of the Reds.

"Sarge you pulled the pin out!" Simmons cries.

Sarge replies matter-o-factly Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in? Hey, Grif, catch this one." Sarge then throws another one, Rowe just watches in awe at the actions of her squad leader.

"No!" Grif screamed both at Sarge and into the radio creating this weird echo effect, "I'm not catching those."

"Dammit, can't reach," Sarge grumbles as the grenade rolls back down the base and blows up.

Simmons jumps and cries, "Ahh, cut it out!"

"Yeah! Let me get back to work up here," Grif screamed right as a rocket flies past him. Rowe finally snaps out of her daze and rushes over to Sarge.

"Did ya' catch tha-aAAAhh!" Sarge cried out as Rowe kicks him in the ass launching him forward.

"Fucking dumbass," Rowe grumbles, she then tells Grif, "Remember, we don't have a safe way to get you back down, so be careful with the grenade."

"Okay, here we go," Grif nervously mumbles. He then chucks a grenade into the pile. As is he never even heard Rowe's warning he asks, "Oh shit! Where do I go when the grenade is..."

*BOOM*

A blue flare shoots up to the sky which is then followed by a screaming Grif.

"Oh shit!" cried Rowe. They all watch ass Grif stops flying up and then starts falling along with all the debris.

"Oh no he's falling!" Simmons cried.

"No shit!" Rowe cried.

"Should we try to catch him?" asks Simmons.

Sarge incerdsuosly replioes, "Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us."

Simmons then hysterically cries, "Rowe what do we do?"

"I don't know!" she cried back with a similar tone, "I've never been skydiving before!"

Sarge, unsurprisingly calm at the prospect of Grif in danger suggests, "I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win."

"You used to jump out of ships. Give him some advice!"

"Oh, right. Grif, you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorgan-OW!" Sarge cried as Rowe bashes him on the back of his head.

"Advice on how to land idiot!" she hissed.

"Oh, right. Grif, what you wanna do is..." While Sarge was talking, the shrieking gets closer and then ends as Grif crashes to the ground behind the trio. Rowe and Simmons both turn and look while Sarge doesn't even notice. Instead he just continues, "...Try to tuck and roll at the last second. That will transfer your momentum to inertia, and invert your ker-splat probability."

Simmons glances over to Sarge and says, "Hey, Sarge?"

"Yeah?"

"I think he's down."

"Oh right…."

"Owww…."

Sarge lets out a laugh, "Simmons, you are observant! Well, let's get going."

"What about Grif?" Simmons asked.

"Leave," Sarge replies passively, "We'll find other ways to purposely-ahh I mean, accidently hurt him…." Sarge nervously glances at Rowe who just stares at him with this empty emotionless gaze. Sarge then immediately starts running as Roe raises her magnum and….

*bam* *bam* *bam*

….Rowe then proceeded to run after the fleeing Sargent firing off another three rounds.

 _Line cut_

"Doctor Rowe seem angry," Caboose murmured as he watches the whole ordeal from his spot on the hill.

"Does she do this often?" Carrie asks, slightly fearful of the medic.

Caboose, slightly unsure answers, "...No?"

Carrie then says, "Anyway, remember why we are here?"

"Oh, right," Caboose chirps. He then runs to the crashed ship and opens the maintenance panel on the front of the ship. He tinkers around for a bit before a light on the side turns on. He makes his over and checks it out. "There you are," he whispers.

"Ready Caboose?" Carrie asks.

Caboose nods, "Ready." He then picks up a blowtorch and turns it on.

 _Line break_

"Well….atleast the power is back on," Simmons murmurs.

Sarge nervously shifts his glance to Grif, "So….how's Grif?"

Simmons and Rowe share a glance, she replies, "He seems broken, but I'm fairly sure he'll live."

Sarge silently sighs, "Sad. I always thought I would be the cause of Grif's death." He then quickly glances at Rowe and breaths a sigh of relief when she doesn't take notice of what he said. He then says, "Let's call Lopez, and tell him we've got power. Robots love that stuff."

"And oil," Simmons cheerfully adds.

"Stop helping me," Sarge grumbles. He then turns around and turns on the long range radio. "Come in Lopez, señor Lopez, come in. This is Sergeant-"

"Hola. Ésta es Garganta Sangrienta. Está hablando a López." [Hello? This is Blood Gulch Canyon, Lopez speaking.]

Sarge greets, "Lopez, it's Sarge. Que paso. Whatya doin'? ...Lopez?"

The voice on the other end attempts to BS his way out of talking to Sarge, "Uh, Me disculpo, no puedo utilizar el teléfono. Deja por favor un mensaje y…" [Uhhh... Sorry I couldn't come to the phone. Please leave me a message and I'll...] Also failing at it, even Sarge isn't that dumb, I mean he's dumb, but not that dumb. Though you know what they say, it's not hard to improve on garbage.

Sarge, thinking it was a joke laughs, "Eh, heh heh. Lopez, you old kidder. Cut it out."

"...le llamaré tan pronto yo esté disponible." [...call you back as soon as I am able.]

"Haha, seriously program, disable lying mode voice verification Bravo niner."

"Commando acceptado. ¿Qué quiere usted?" [COMMAND ACCEPTED...OK. What do you want?]

"I need you at the new base on the double."

"¿Por qué?" [Why?]

"We got power. Need your help building something awesome. You busy?"

"En realidad. No. Acabo de matar a esa muchacha de la Base Azul. Así que terminé. Ganamos a propósito." [Actually. Not really. I just killed that girl over at Blue Base. So I'm all wrapped up here. We won by the way.]

Rowe leans over to Simmons and whispers, "Ever noticed how Sarge randomly understands Lopez and just as randomly doesn't?"

"I think we has selective hearing," Simmons whispers back.

"Great!" Sarge calls over to them, "Hey Simmons, Rowe, we won Blood Gulch."

Rowe and Simmons share a glance and slightly confused, they ask, "What do you mean?"

"We finally defeated the Blues at Blood Gulch."

Simmons whoops, "Oh, cool. Suck it Blue."

Rowe, still confused mumbles, "What about…."

"Oh, and tell Grif his sister's dead." The Sergeant's words finally dawn on the two as Grif finally regains consciousness.

"OK. Creo que puedo venir luego." [OK I guess I can be right there.]

Sarge then runs back to the radio, "Great, we'll see you soon. I'll forward you some blueprints of what we've been workin' on." He then hangs up.

Grif lets out a moan, sits up and weekly asks "What happened?"

Rwoe rushes to his side, "Easy Grif, easy, you took quite a fall, also took quite a blast."

Sarge then instructs, "Grif, you're awake, good. Lopez is coming here, I need you to stay out of the way."

Grif mumbles, "Uh, can do."

"Rowe, you stay with Grif, get him back on his feet."

"Got it sarge."

"Simmons, you check the base, make sure everything is online. Lopez is going to need all the power he can get."

"On it sir."

"Lopez, you get in the base, start workin' on the plans I sent you." All three of them snap their heads to the left of SArge where Lopez had almost magically appeared.

"Sí." Lopez then walks off to work.

"The fuck?" mumbles Rowe.

"Wow, he got here fast!" Simmons exclaimed.

Sarge then lets out a sigh and says, "Oh and uh, Grif, one more thing. You might wanna sit down."

An annoyed Grif cries, "I can't sit, I think both my kneecaps are shattered."

"Oh, well in that case, Rowe, you'd better be prepared to catch him. He'll probably faint when I tell him his sister's dead."

Slightly surprised, Grif ask, "My sister is dead?"

Sarge breaths a sigh of relief, "Oh, you already know! Good. I was worried 'bout how to break the news to you. That could've been awkward."

Grif, completely not believing it says, "No way. Not true."

"You don't believe it?" Simmons asks.

Rowe lets out a sigh, "Grif, I know it's hard, and denial is the first step in grief, but in time you'll learn to accept it."

Grif, still not buying it curtly replies, "I'll tell you what, you produce a corpse, I'll believe it."

Simmons scratches his head, "Huh?" He turns to Rowe who shrugs.

Grif then explains, "Listen, once when we were kids, we went ice skating, and she fell through the ice. She was under there for three hours, and when they pulled her out, not only was she still alive, she was pregnant. If you can explain that to me, I'll believe you when you tell me she's dead."

Both Simmons and Rowe are dead silent while Sarge sighs, "HHHhhhh, I wouldn't even know how to-"

Lopex the walks up and says, "Hecho." [Done.]

Sarge laughs, "Hot damn, Lopez is done already. Did you finish the-"

"Sí."

"Well what about the-"

"Sí."

"And also the-"

"Estoy listo. Eso significa que hice todo." [I am done. That means I did everything.]

"Caliente daminito, let's go check it out."

"Está por aquí." [It's over here.] Lopez leads them into the base and into an elevator. López then instructs Sarge, "Aprieta el botón de abajo." [Just hit the down button.]

Grif asks, "You installed an elevator?"

"Por supuesto. Introduzca su código. Ponga su mano allí. De vuelta a esa rueda." [Of course. Now enter your personalized key code. Put your hand on the scanner. Now turn that crank.]

Sarge asks, "Which one, this one?" He then proceeds to point at a random one.

"No. La tercera hacia abajo. La quinta hacia allá." [No. The third one down. Fifth one over.]

"Ah, okay."

Rowe then asks curiously, "How did he build all of this?"

Sarge replies, "I told ya, he just needed power tools."

"Ahora apriete su botón cuando apriete el mío." [Now push your button when I push mine.]

"At the same time?"

"Sí."

"You wanna do it like on three or like, three and then go?"

With an exasperated tone, Lopez says, "¡Apenas apriétalo!" [Just push it!]

"Okay."

The elevator then stop descending, they exit the elevator and walk into a large open room. All three Reds had their own response.

"Jesus."

"What the fuck?"

"What the hell is all this?"

Sarge then proudly presented, "As you know, I've been working on developing a new version of our Warthog. So I had Lopez here build an underground holographically powered simulation room. This is going to allow us, to test the final concepts of my car design. Now check it."

A Blue grid appears on the floor and holograms of a warthog pops up and the grid disappears.

Grif and Rowe clap, "Okay. Now that was pretty cool." Rowe nods in agreement.

Sarge, slightly flushed at the praise, says, "Thank you"

Impressed yet also confused, Simmons asks, "Hey wait a second, so you built an entire chamber, capable of running holographic simulations, rather than just build the car itself? That doesn't seem very efficient to me."

Sarge replied matter-of-factly, "Simmons, sometimes you just gotta go for style points. Hoo-ah."

Rowe rolls her eyes, "Simmons, I think e need to stop trying to apply logic to how stuff runs here….it just doesn't seem to work."

 **Author's note: That's another chapter down. I hope you liked it, please follow and favorite if you want to see more. Thank you all for ready and remember….Big Brother is Watching….**


	5. Grif Simulator

**Author's Note: I'm not sure how many people here read my other story, but "Through New Eyes" is now part of a community, that's huge guys, thank you for that. I'll think of what to do to say thank you later, here's another chapter. Also, this is the best titles I could come up with, so….I know it sucks.**

 **Disclaimer: I own the OCs….that's about it. Everything else is owned by Roosterteeth and Microsoft.**

Grif Simulator

Sarge drove the warthog around the room and eventually pulled up infront of Simmons, Grif, and Rowe.

Sarge steps out and then proudly announces, "Now this is more like it! Great job on the simulator, Lopez." Then Sarge turns to the Reds and says, "Good work on the power, Simmons, Rowe."

Then Grif exclaims, "Simmons?! I'm the one that was almost killed just so you could get the electricity back on."

Sarge nods, "Yep, it was worth it."

Grif cries back, "You say that every time I'm almost killed."

 _Flashback to Bloodgulch_

Simmons runs up to Sarge and worriedly cries, "Sarge! Grif was spying on the blues and they captured him!"

Sarge asked with enthusiasm, "What'd he find out? Are they planning something?"

Simmons shakes his head, "No, they were standing around talking, like always. But now they're gonna kill him!"

Sarge just waves it off and says, "Well, it was worth it."

 _Flashback End_

"Huh..." a perplexed Rowe breathes. "I don't remember that one."

"It was before you arrived," Simmons explained. "Anyway, there's also that one time…."

 _Flashback to Bloodgulch….again._

"The base looks so clean Simmons! Excellent work," Sarge happily congratulated.

Simmons nodded and sadly replied, "Yeah, too bad Grif was almost killed by his allergic reaction to the cleaning supplies."

Sarge glanced over to the left and saw Grif laying in a pool of blood on the floor with Rowe standing over him stabbing an epipen into his thigh. Sarge then winces as Rowe looks up and glares at him.

Sarge shrugs, "It was worth it."

 _Flash to Sarge and Simmons holding back and angry Rowe with Grif lying in between them on fire._

"Worth it."

 _Flash to present_

Sarge reasons, "Only because it's always true. There's very few tasks that wouldn't balance out by you making the ultimate sacrifice."

Simmons also adds, "At least this time we got something out of it. We got power, and a new weapon! Right Rowe?" Rowe almost retorts before she resigns herself back in and ponders her options.

She almost considers agreeing with, she lets out a sigh and gave a compromise, "Just keep his fatal accidents to a minimum please, I keep having to make requests for more medical supplies, I am almost convinced I need to learn how to perform field surgery because of you guys."

"Hm," Sarge mumbled as he walks to the back of the warthog and as he climbs onto the turret, he chuckles, "Let's test this bad boy out." He then points it a Grif.

Grif, slightly put off takes a step back and asks, "Whoa, wait a second. Does this hologram jeep shoot hologram slugs, or real slugs?"

"As long as we are in this room, everything will seem real to us. It's all simulated, but your mind makes it real," Sarge explained.

"Ooh, like the Matrix!" Simmons chirped.

"Sí, pero sin toda la filosofía oriental que nadie entiende." [Right, but without all the Eastern philosophy stuff that no one understands]

Grif throws up his hands and cries "Alright, fuck this. I'm going to stand over there." He then proceeds to walk to the other side of the room.

Sarge taunts after him, "Guess what, dirtbag? I don't need you for target practice anymore. I've got my own holo-Grif programed into the system already." As if on cue, Lopez activates a hologram of Grif.

"Hello!" Holo-Grif lazily greeted, "I am literally the worst program ever made!"

"Sounds like someone hasn't used Google Chrome..." Simmons jokes causing Rowe to glance over to him with a 'Really?' expression.

"Locked and loaded, ready to fire at the bloated." Sarge then orders the hologram, "Grif... I mean fake Grif... go stand over there."

"Cool. Whatever," he lazily mumbled. He then walks to the center of the room.

Sarge then turns to the Reds and explains, "This is a magnetized propulsion system. It can fire massive slugs at an outrageous velocity! Check it out." He then fires annihilating the Holo-Grif and stalling the warthog.

"Blarg! I deserve it!" the fake Grif gasped before dieing.

"Wow!" Simmons gasped in awe.

Rowe, somewhat impressed said, "Yeah, it's pretty nice." She then glances over to the stalled jeep and deadpans as she remember's the drawback to firing the weapon.

"And in 10 short seconds, it will be ready to fire again," continued Sarge,

"That's incredible," Simmons comments, his smile then fades as he stops to think about it, "Wait a minute….."

"Lopez, spawn me another holo-Grif on the pronto," requested Sarge.

Lopez nods. "Sí."

Grif looks up in surprise and asks the others "Did you guys see that?"

Rowe looks over to where Grif was pointing but didn't see anything, "What, I just see the hologram?"

Sarge then shouts, "Shut up real-Grif! We're doing important research over here! Hey Rowe check this out: I'm gonna shoot the next one in the hoo-hoo."

Another Grif spawns and shakily asks, "Oh, hey guys. What's goin-" *BOOM*

Rowe rolls her eyes, "Pass a good time Sarge."

"Sure thing Doc!" Sarge laughs.

"Putain d'enfant," [Fucking child] Rowe quietly mutters as she looks down and checks her PDA.

 _Meanwhile…._

In the Blue base, a figure could be seen holded in the middle of the room, there's a black armored body to his right, and to his left is an A.I. storage device.

"Finally we're all here. Now we can be together... forever," the figure cackles creepily.

"Caboose?" Carrie calls out as her avatar materializes in front of him, "Stop being weird."

"Sorry!" Caboose replies.

"You get everything?" she asks.

Caboose ponders, "I think so."

"Well let's go over it really quick," she suggested as a holographic list appears in front of her. "Did you get the Central Processing Unit from Sheila, it looks like a square thing, oh and it also has a cooling fan on it?"

Caboose nods, "Check."

"The 10-100 terabytes of RAM in 10 small cards?"

"I got found five of them."

"We can work with that," Carrie mumbles as she adds a note to the list, "Did you get the Graphic Processing Unit or graphics card?"

"Which on is that?"

"It's the small card with an equally small fan on it."

"Oh….Check."

"The image receptors?"

"Are they the ones that look like camera's?"

"Yes."

"Check….but don't they seem a bit big?"

"We'll deal with them later."

"Okay then."

"Power cables?"

"Check."

"The gears, servos, and hydraulics?"

"Check."

"The 2.5 petabytes of memory hard drives, they should like like the CPU but colored orange and with the plugs on the side instead of the bottom."

Caboose holds out a handful of them, "I have them….but I don't know how much."

Carie nods, "I'll count them later."

"The audio receptors?" Carrie then adds, "They look like speakers."

"I got what's left of them," Caboose holds them up but the fabric covering them was tattered. Carrie let's out a sigh as she adds a note saying, 'Fix speaker fabric from drums.'

"Finally, do we have the car battery?"

"Yes…." he then also asks while scratching his head, "Do you think it was wrong of us to steal from the Red's though?" Carrie gives him a look as she closes the list. They had to steal from the warthog since the pelican;s battery was destroyed, they also stole the power cables and the audio jacks..

"You seriously worried about that?" she incredulously asks.

"They're our friends!" Caboose protested.

Carrie shrugs, "Caboose, they just got their power back, I think a couple missing parts is the least of their problems. Plus with their robot back, I'm sure he can just….build them from scratch."

Caboose lowers his hand and chirps, "Oh….okay?"

Carrie then surveys all the parts, "Okay….We have to get all this…." she motions to all the parts, "...into that," she points at Tex's body. "So that he….." points at Epsilon, "Can run it."

Caboose nervously ask, "What's the bad news?"

Carrie sighs, "Like you said earlier….some of the stuff is too big, we won't be able to fit all of this into one human body."

Slightly let down, Caboose asks "The good news?"

Carrie gives him a reassuring smile, "The good news is we don't have to build an entire computer from scratch, so that means we get to cut corners."

Caboose brightens up and replies, "Oh, okay!"

Carrie then instructs, "Grab the tool box and let's get started."

 _Back at Red Base_

*Boom* Another Grif dies adding to the increasingly large pile of bodies.

"Alright. Lopez, another Grif," ordered Sarge.

López then says "Esta cosa hace otros blancos sabéis…" [This thing makes other targets you know...]

Sarge waves him off, "Bah, let's stick with the fundamentals." Simmons stares hard at the jeep as it restarts.

He then asks, "OK, Sarge. Do you mean to tell me this thing fires once every 10 seconds?"

"Well, we lost the new battery that was delivered from comand a week ago forcing me to use the old one for the warthog. Turns out the gun takes all the power from the engine to fire…." Sarge replies, "...but other than that, state of the art." Rowe snorts as another Grif spawns.

"Let's get this over with..." the Holo-Grif groans.

Simmons counters "But our last weapon fired 10,000 rounds per second."

Sarge places his hand under his chin, "Hmm…." he ponders, "If my math is right, and I think it is, that seems like more than this one."

Simmons deadpans, "Yes it is."

"How much more would you say?" Sarge asks curiously.

Simmons replies, "Well, the chaingun was 10,000 rounds per second, and this would be 0.1 of a round per second. So yeah, it was."

Sarge fires again killing the Grif and stalling the jeep once again. Grif once again stares out across the room and spots the same figure he saw earlier.

"It does seem to be lacking in the rapid fire department," Sarge comments.

Grif then wearily comments, "I know I'm not crazy. I just saw something move." Everyone ignores him, Lopez operates the panel, Rowe checks her PDA again, and Sarge readies the gun while he listens to Simmons.

Sarge shrugs, "Oh well, a good craftsman never blames his tools."

Simmons then comments, "But, we made the tool in this case. Can we blame the craftsman?"

Sarge shakes his head, "No, Simmons. You and the gun are just going to to have to agree to disagree."

*Beep* Everyone looks at Rowe as she pulls out her PDA.

"What was that?" Sarge asks.

Looking up from her PDA she replies, "That was Lockett, he was just responding to Simmon's breakdown of you're new gun."

Sarge leaned closer now more interested, "Well, what does he think? State of the Art right?"

Rowe looks back at the PDA, "He still thinks it's stupid…, he says and I quote "The M68 gauss cannon are still superior in everyway. It's rate of fire is about 2 rounds per second which is still significantly faster than your "emp gun," and it also accomplishes its anti-vehicle role with the same effectiveness if not more due to the fact that you can still drive the jeep while firing and you can follow up the first round if more shots just in case you miss,"" Rowe then looks up and awaits Sarge's response.

Sarge turns away and angrily grumbles, "Why I oughta…." He then turns back and as if he was seriously offended, it's Sarge, he was offended, he cries angrily "Lockett has no idea what he's talking about! My gun is perfect!"

Simmons then adds, "I told you it was a bad idea! Even Lockett says so, and he's actually and engineer! I bet even Lopez agrees."

"No me incluyen en esto por favor," [Please don't include me in this] said Lopez.

"Oh that reminds me," Rowe then turns to Simmons and with a smirk says, "He says you have the right idea…." making Simmons become excited at the possible praise, "But your math and data is all wrong."

As if it was an impossibility, Simmons sputters, "M-my….my math…..wrong?!" This causes Grif to explode with laughter.

She continues, "He says, "Firstly; the gun on the back of the warthog is not a chaingun, chain guns have one barrel, the gun on the warthog is a gatling gun. Secondly; the GATLING gun does not fire 10,000 rounds per second, that's not physically possible, it fires 15 rounds per second and the warthog carries 10,000 rounds." He also says hi."

Simmons is silent for a few seconds, then…."Shut up!" he cries defensively. "My math isn't wrong! He's wrong!"

Five Grifs then spawn in a row snapping all of them out of their thoughts.

Simmons then requests to Sarge, "Let me take a look. Maybe I can increase the rate of fire. " He then mounts the jeep and drives off.

"And maybe Lopez can find a way to spawn Grifs faster," adds Sarge

"¡Hace otras cosas!" [It makes other things!] a frustrated Lopez cried after them.

Guys, seriously. I know I saw something." Grif then walks forward to take a closer look at the holograms and stops at that one at the end and cries "Aha! See? This one is weird. It's all light red instead of orange."

No one even looking, Sarge comments, "No Grif, I'm sure it isn't."

Rowe still looking at her PDA sasy, "Grif you might be hallucinating. I think you might have a concussion, take a seat and I'll have a look."

Grif turns to the group and cries, "Yeah, I don't think so. Look!" He then points behind him to the odd colored hologram.

Sarge then shouts, "Grif, we are busy! You and Donut shut up and stop distracting us."

Rowe's head then snaps up, "Donut?" She then looks over, her eyes widen and her arms fall to her side.

"But I... Donut?!" Grif turns around and takes a closer look at the figure.

"Water…." Donut wheezes.

Grif jumps back and girlish cries, "Eeyah! Donut?!" Rowe just stands there dazed while Lopez, Sarge, and Simmons all stop and stare.

"Donut?" comments Simmons.

Grif quickly clams and asks "Where the hell did you come from?"

"Water…." he wheezes again.

Grif scratches his head an confusedly asks, "You came from the water?"

"Water!" Donut weekly cries before collapsing.

Somewhat impressed, Grif says "I didn't even know you would swim."

"Oh shit," Rowe mutters as she rushes to his side.

She gets there just in time to hear the pin-I mean lightish-red soldier wheeze out, "Grif! He needs help! It's under... the sand... find him."

Rowe turns and asks Grif, "Wait, what did he say?"

"I don't know, but whatever it is sounds like it's something that's going to keep us busy for a few months," he groaned.

"Holy mamma mia. Donut! Where's he been?" The two turn around and see both Sarge and Simmons approaching him.

"Donut!" Simmons cries, he then turns to Rowe and asks "Doc, what did he say?"

Rowe scratches her head as she replies, "...Something about sand."

"Sand?" Simmons asks equally confused, "What's that supposed to mean." Rowe shrugs.

Rowe then turns and asks Grif, "Did he say anything to you?"

Grif finally snaps to, "Hm? Who, him? Oh, uh, he just said he wanted some water."

"Makes sense," Rowe comments, "He's completely dehydrated."

Sarge faces Grif and deadpans, "Why don't I believe you?"

Grif lies, "Um, he also said that he liked the new jeep."

Sarge smiles and cheers, "Hot damn! I always knew that kid had style."

 **Author's Note: That's the end of this chapter. The end is coming soon, I'll be moving back to "Through New Eyes." So if you want to see these characters again, jump to my other story. Or if you just like how I write, also jump to my other story, or don't, because I sometimes have debates with myself over the quality of both of these. Please follow me if you want to see more and remember….Big Brother is Watching.**


	6. Reacreation

**Author's Note: I am now officially starting Recreation with this teaser.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own red vs Blue.**

Recreation

 **Outpost 17-B: "Valhalla" Post-War: Year 1.25**

"Okay, now attach the processor chord to the power supply and screw it in," Carrie instructed. Caboose who was working on Tex's body nods and does just that. "Okay, now that you have the processor and power supply properly placed, connect them to the torso and leg wires."

"Umm...how-"

"Top-right plug to top-right chord. Top-left-"

"Oh okay…." a few seconds pass while Caboose attaches the the chords to the battery. "Done."

"Okay, now that we have attached the limbs…." Carrier murmured as she went over the notes, "Let's try turning it down to see if it works…."

"Umm…." Caboose raises his hands, "How-"

"They should move," Carrie replied, "Just use that remote over there for now."

Caboose grabs the remote and he asks, "Ready?"

Carrie nods, "Read," she turns to the body and announces, "Turning it on now."

*electric noise as the body comes to life….sort of*

"Okay…." Carrier murmured, "It's looking good for now."

"Uh….it's making a lot of noise," Caboose nervously said.

Carrie nods in agreement, "Yeah….something might be wrong, here let me check." Carrier then runs a diagnostic over the robot body.

"Should we turn it off?" Caboose asks.

"That's odd," Carrier ponders, "It says everything checks out. Try moving the arm." CAboose moves the control and-

*sizzle, pop, spark*

"Uh oh…." Caboose mumbles as the color drains from his face.

"Caboose take cover!" Carrier shrieks. Caboose starts running for the one of the barricades left lying around.

He starts crying "Oh, no, no don't!"

*KABOOM*

"Ahhhh….crap," Caboose sighed.

Carrie attempts to comfort him and says, "It's okay Caboose, maybe next time will be better." They both jump as the body then the battery catches fire.

 _Meanwhile_

Simmons was currently spying on the tow, he zooms out of his binoculars and he murmurs, "I need to tell Sarge about this." Simmons get's on his radio and says, "Sarge, come in this is Simmons."

"Yeah I hear you Simmons," Sarge replies.

In the background Rowe could be heard saying "Grif, I am tired of saying this, you need to shower on a regular basis!"

"What is it Simmons?" Sarge asks.

Simmons stumbles on his words as he hears Grif retort, "Why? Our suits are ventilated, they push out the stink."

Simmon's continues listening, " Ignore the fact that it's regulation. Not only is it disgusting, you not maintain your hygiene is a major health concern for the rest of us!" She then points out, "Those damn waving green lines coming off of you should be a clue."

"Simmons?" Sarge calls.

"Fine," said Grif, he rolls his eyes and adds, "I'll shower….occasionally."

"Noooo, you're going to shower everyday!" Rowe retorts. "And I'll see to it that you do it….even if I have to hose you down myself."

"Simmons?" Sarge calls out again.

Grif then cries "Every day. How can I tell how long a day is, the sun never sets around here. Why the hell doesn't the sun set? Shouldn't we be talking about that first?"

"Just set a clock then!"

"A clock?!" Grif asks incredulously, "Fuck that."

"Simmons!" Sarge finally shouts.

"Huh?" Simmons snaps out of his daze.

"What is it?"

Simmons let's out a sigh, "I'll tell you when I get back to base."

 _At Red Base_

Simmons walks up to the Reds who were gathered out in the back of the base.

Sarge notices him walking up and asks, " Simmons, how'd the latest reconnaissance mission go?" Drawing attention of the other members.

Simmons excitedly relies "Sarge, I have some really exciting news. I just think everyone is going to find this very, very exciting."

Sarge says, "Well spit it out."

"The Blues…" Simmons breathes, "Are completely undermanned right now."

"What do you mean by "undermanned"?" Sarge asks curiously.

Grif also asks "What do you mean by exciting?" Though his was a little more sarcastic.

Simmons explains "It looks like they have received no reinforcements after the last mission. I need to double check my numbers, but if it's just Caboose and Carrie over there, that means we have a 4 man advantage."

Rowe rolls her eyes and turns away while Grif sarcastically replies, "Ooo... What part do you need to double check? Is it the part where you counted their guys or the part where you counted our guys, cause they both sound really tough."

Simmons growls "Shut up Grif, no one's talking to you."

Sarge places his hand under his chin and ponders "Hmm... This could be strategically advantageous."

Grif continues his sarcastic jabs at Simmons, "Or maybe it was the part where you subtracted 1 from 5. Math can be hard…." Grif turns to Lopez who was working on the jeep, "Hey Lopez!"

Lopez looks out from behind the jeep, "¿Sí?"

"Fire up your calculator unit, we got a doozy!" Grif shouts. Lopez just grumbles as he turns back to the jeep.

Sarge then informs Grif, "He can't do that, I had to remove that application in order to install a new free app I downloaded. It's a program that could be vital to the morale here at our new base."

"What's the program?" Rowe asks.

"Hace ruidos de pedos," Lopez replies, even though no one really understand him. [It makes fart noises.]

Sarge chuckles "He he, I don't want to spoil it for you boys, but let's just say it is hilarious."

Lopez retorts with, "Solo digamos que usted es un idiota." [Let's just say you're an idiot.]

Grif then says "Actually, you do need to recount. We don't have six guys we only have five."

"We got Donut back," Simmons reasoned.

Rowe sighs and as if a mother talking to a child, "You can't count Donut, Simmons."

"Why not? He's unconscious right now, but when he wakes up..."

Rowe cuts him off, "Simmons, Donut's been in a dehydration induced coma for the past three days. That is beyond unconscious, in fact, I was just about to call command to get him airlifted out of here until I had to talk with that idiot's…." Rowe points at Grif, "Lack of hygiene." Grif just shrugs.

Simmons shrugs and replies "Well, I think we should count everyone. I'm an equal opportunity counter."

Rowe gives him a deadpan look and says, "No you're just an idiot."

Simmons counters with " I mean hell, if I'm counting you as a soldier, I should count the vehicles, some of the bigger rocks we have laying around here, fuck it let's give the trash can a gun."

Grif laughs "At least I can subtract five and one without double-checking."

 _Meanwhile at Blue Base_

"Oh no fire, that's bad. Bad fire! Bad fire go away." Caboose then grabs a fire extinguisher in an attempt to put out the fire. He then swung the extinguisher around blindly crying "Please stop burning! Nothing else burn!"

"Caboose be careful!" Carrie cried but it was too late. Caboose accidentally knocks a can of motor oil from off the shelf and it lands on him. As we all know, fire and oil don't mix well.

Caboose then runs out of the base crying, "Oh God, now I'm burning. That's much worse then other things burning!"

"Caboose! Stop drop and roll!" Carrie screamed.

"Oh god, why does it keep chasing me?" Caboose creid.

"Stop drop and roll!" Carrie ordered and Caboose did just that and ended up rolling into the river. There Caboose breathed a sigh of relief, "Ahh... that's nice."

"You okay Caboose?" Carrie asks, as he crawls out of the river.

"I-I think so…." he murmurs.

Carrie lets out a sigh, "Alright, better go and see what we can salvage."

Caboose get's up and makes his way back to the base, he entering he cries out, "Ok, let's try that again. But with less fire on me this time!"

 **Author's Note: Like I said, just a teaser. The next chapter should be the last one before I go back to my other story. For those who know what I'm referencing….please don't spoil it for the others, I would like to keep that part secret. Thank you all for reading and remember….BIG BROTHER is watching YOU.**


	7. Oh Yeah, We Did That

**Author's Note: Here we go. New chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I think we have established that I don't own Red vs Blue….much to my dismay.**

Oh Yeah….We did That...

It was a lovely day in Valhalla, everything was fine, it's quiet now but we all know how long that tends to last.

Sarge pops up from behind the cliff overlooking Blue base, he shouts, "Attention: Blue Team! This is the Red Team! We are here to destroy you! Your long reign of being the shittiest team around is about to come to the sudden and cataclysmic end! We will give you a few moments to suck in the horrors of this announcement! And then return for your reaction. Be right back!" Sarge then backs down towards Red base where Grif, Simmons, and Rowe were standing. Sarge walks over to them laughing. "Hehe. Alright, that oughta scare the bejeebus out of them!" said Sarge.

Simmons then comments "Actually, sir. Since it's just two of them over there—"

Grif interrupts adding "And the one is an idiot while the other is an A.I.."

"—I don't really see the point in psychological warfare," Simmons finishes.

Sarge ponders for a bit and then nods saying, "You're right, Simmons. It's not really accurate to refer to one-person as a team. What's better? Blue Person? Blue Man? Bluetonian?"

"What I meant was—" Simmons tried to reply but Sarge clearly wasn't listening.

"Bluetard!" Sarge shot us hoping his insult would be the new terminology for Blue soldiers.

Now feeling a headache coming on, Rowe sighs, "Sarge…." while nursing her head. "Not that I condone it, but if we really wanted to, we could just attack him and get it done like that." She then freezes and her eyes widen when she realizes what would happen is Sarge went through with killing Caboose.

Simmons steps forward and adds, "She's right sir, as dumb as Caboose is, he does tend to do what people ask him to do. We should attack them, take them out before they call for help….not entirely sure they could "

"Second thought…." Rowe then mumbles, "Maybe it's not a good idea."

Simmons, eyes full of betrayal, he cries out incredulously, "What do you mean?"

Rowe tiredly glances over to him and sighs "IF we go down there….I am not being held responsible for whatever happens after."

Simmons laughs, "Nothing's going to happen, the Blues will be dead…."

Rowe gives them a long deadpanned stare before she asks, "Let me reiterate….who in command will be very pissed when they find out we killed Blue team?" Someone how the Red's still didn't get it….maybe Grif got it but was too lazy to give a damn. Simmons and Sarge glanced at each other and shrugged, Rowe in response threw her arms up into the air and gave up.

Sarge looks back at Simmons and says, "Rowe is right in a sense Simmons, we can't just kill them. There's an order to this, Simmons. We can't abandon protocol just because we have an advantage! We have to give them a chance to see the errors of his Blueways! To lay down his arms and meet his fellow men at the table of peace, where we can work together towards a better world. A world that's better, because we poisoned his food at that table, and stabbed him in the eye with a fork, and shut down his A.I. friend. And taken all their stuff."

"Don't you mean their arms Simmons?" asked.

Sarge sighed at Simmons, "Think Simmons, Carrie can't actually pick up a gun."

Simmons quickly adds, " … Dibs on the computers."

With her face now buried in her palms, Rowe mumbles, "I hope they have a good supply of alcohol."

Sarge nods at both of them, "Noted." He then points at Simmons and orders "Now watch that base. Tell me if anything changes."

Simmons gives him a crisp salute and enthusiastically replies "Yes, sir!" He then lowers his hand and says to Sarge, "And sir?"

Sarge turns and looks at him, he asks "Yes, Simmons?"

Simmons, all full of pride replies " I just wanna say, I'm glad I was here to see you on your day of victory. It's been a long time coming."

Sarge let's out a satisfied sigh and says "Yes it has, hasn't it? My skills as a leader have really taken us far. It must've been quite an honor to serve with me." He pauses as he remises all the events that had lead up to this point, "Ah… okay. Glad we had this talk."

Simmons looks up with hopeful eyes and asks "Are you glad I'm here too, Sarge?"

Sarge replies "Of course I am."

Simmons smiles and even starts sniffing at the idea of Sarge giving him praise, "I knew it! I just could—"

Sarge cuts him off with "The squad's kill-death ratio is the most important measurement when evaluating sergeants! My numbers have already taken a big of a hit as it is with Rowe's numbers being 5 kills under mine! As proud as I am to have such a decent marksman on my team, it pains me when I realized that the only thing stopping her from having more kills is the fact that she's a medic. So if you had died, that would've hurt my numbers."

Simmons lowers his head, his tears of joy from earlier quickly replaced with tears of sorrow as he sniffles "Glad I could help!" He then walks off dejectedly.

Sarge adds "It's better to keep a little padding in our stats! That way if we're far enough ahead, I can stab Grif in the face, and still stay in the lead." He looks over to Rowe for approval, "Right Doc?"

Rowe just shrugs and rolls her eyes "Sure….whatever Sarge."

Sarge looks back and excitedly says "See that! Even Doc Rowe agrees with me."

"Glad I could help!" Simmons sniffs before and the walks off dejectedly. Rowe watched as he walked off feeling somewhat sorry for him. Her attention along with Grif's was then taken by Sarge.

Sarge continues, "It's better to keep a little padding in our stats! That way if we're far enough ahead, I can stab Grif in the face, and still stay in the lead."

Grif rolls his eyes and sighs "You know, I'm standing right here."

Sarge smiles and says " Right where I want you! Within face-stabbing range." Sarge's radio then goes of, he answers "Lopez, how are those vehicle repairs coming?"

Lopez confused, asks "¿Cómo van? El jeep está destruido. No se puede arreglar." [Coming? The jeep is destroyed. It can't be fixed.]

Sarge nods and then asks "Got an ETA?" He clearly doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Lopez replies, " Sí. Nunca." [Yes. Never.]

Sarge sternly replies "As long as they get it ASAP! Cuz I need a PDQ!"

Lopez takes a long look at the wrecked jeep, he then replies "En ese caso, nunca menos uno." [In that case, never minus one.]

Sarge smiles and says "Lopez, you're a regular RFR—Really Fast Robot. Grif! Make a note in the acronym journal." He then turns and points at Simmons. "Simmons!" he shouts "Status report!"

Simmons who is standing at the hill glances over at the Blue Base for a few seconds, he then replies "Still just two sir."

He then turns to Rowe, "What's our team's status Rowe?"

Rowe curtly replies "Green sir, we're good to go."

"Perfect!" he then asks, "And Grif?"

Rpowe glances over at Grif standing to the right of her, "He's good too sir," she replies.

"Damn," Sarge grumbles under his breath, he then gets back on the radio and says "Lopez! Status report!"

Lopez grabs his radio and angrily shouts back "¡Ya hablaste conmigo idiota!" [You already talked to me, jackass!]

Sarge turns back to Rowe and says "Rowe! Status on Grif!"

She deadpans and replies "Still breathing sir."

Sarge frowns and then runs back to the hill and cries "Hey, Blues! Don't think we've forgotten about ya! Still gonna kill ya any second!" He then heads back towards his base and shouts over his shoulder "Count on it!"

Grif after a full minute of silence finally asks "Sarge, have you thought this invasion all the way through?"

Sarge scoffs "Of course I have! We beat the Blues; we win, you suck. That's all the way through."

Simmons finally returns from the hill just in time to hear Grif ask "Uh, and who do we fight then?"

"We fight…" Sarge pauses and scratches his head as he tries to come up with an answer "...with other Blues!

Grif then counters with "But what if no more Blues come? I mean they haven't sent reinforcements yet. What if they never do?"

"Why would you want more Blues?" Simmons asks.

Rowe then say, "You know I think he has a point."

"He does?" Sarge asks.

"I do?" Grif parrots.

"What do you mean?" Simmons asks.

"Look at it this way…." Rowe replies, "We both a have these new bases all filled with new equipment right?"

"Yeah?" Sarge and Simmons answer.

"If the war is over, who's gonna be here to test it?" Rowe questions. "What if no more Blues come, they have yet to receive reinforcements since we got here."

Simmons laughs "Who cares!? The war would be over!"

Sarge then asks raising an eyebrow, "Are you two suggesting we don't attack them? That's downright traitorous!" he growls.

Grif throws up his arms in defeat, he shrugs and sarcastically says "I mean, no more early morning runs. No more training exercises. Why would we need to do any of that stuff, right? We won!"

The gears in Sarge's head start turning as he nervously replies "Right…?."

Grief continues "And all this new equipment—we can just let them fall into disrepair. I mean, we don't need it! We won't even need to test it, because we're winning. We're about to make it all obsolete."

Sarge goes into deep thought as Rowe then says, "I'm all for winning the war and going home….but after that stunt you pulled back at Command, I don't think we're gonna get to if we kill the Blues….plus Lockett would kill all of us when he found out."

The color drains from Sarge's face as he realizes what killing Caboose and Carrie would bring, he then remembers something Rowe said,. "Wait…." he pauses, "Stunt at Command?" All three of them turn and look at Rowe.

She looks up and incredulously asks them "What you guys don't remember?" Her smile fades as they all shake their head. She rolls her eyes and reminds them, "You deleted them from the database remember?" Sarge's eyes go as wide as dinner plates. "You ordered Simmons to erase them and that's what happened, now they don't even exists."

"They actually went through with that?" Sarge gasped, he then turns with his hand bracing his head he mutters "Maybe I didn't think that through." Sarge then grabs his radio, but before he could call commandm, he runs over to the Hill and shouts "Hey, Blues! There's uh, gonna be a slight delay in your destruction! Hang tight! " He then shackley grbs the radio and mutters "Please let this be a dream…." he raises the radio up and tells the others, "I'm gonna call our new command, see if they can confirm this."

Grif scoffs "Heh, yeah, the old one was so great, the new one's gotta be even better."

Sarge gets on his radio and calls "Command! Come in, Command! This is Blood Gulch Outpost-… wait…I mean…." Sarge pauses as he remembers that he isn;t is Blood Gulch anymore. He turns to Simmons and asks "Simmons, what's the name of this place again?"

"Valhalla sir."

Sarge turns back to the radio and says "Valhaldagir-jaggle-callit... thingy... Outpost Number One! Do you read? Come in! I need advisement on what to do about Blue Team!"

"What are you two doing?" Simmons hisses.

Grif defends "What do you mean, what am I doing? We have one enemy here. We can milk this for years!"

"No Blue Team," Sarge says slowly and then cries "The only other team in this canyon!" Caboose waltzes up to the three without any of them noticing and he looks back and forth between the three while they talk.

"If we beat them, Command will just send us to some new base, where we have to fight a real team."

"Or they could send in an actual team here," Rowe adds, "There is also the possibility that Command would just ignore us, pretend we don't exist."

"So?" Simmons asks, still not getting it.

"Wellllll…." Rowe drawled, "I kinda want to go home and Sarge's current plan, is probably gonna extend my time here. If we kill them and command sends us else where, we may as well be screwed 'cause at least Lockett has jurisdiction over us here."

"So?" Simmons asks again still not quite getting it. "Is that a bad thing?"

Rowe takes a deep breath as she tries to comprehend the denseness she had just witnessed, Grif now fed up and frustrated responds "Do you want to fight one shitty enemy, or five real enemies?!"

"What do you mean you don't have them in your database anymore?!" Sarge cries, "Why would be be here if there's noone to fight?!"

Grif then decides to take a jab at Simmons with "You want me to help you subtract one from five? I know that's tough for you."

"Shut up," Simmons growls.

"Hey guys," Caboose finally greets.

Not ever really surprised at this point, Rowe politely responds with "Hello Caboose, Carrie."

Simmons practically jumps and cries "What are you doing here!?"

Carrie replies "We're just getting parts from the ship. What are you guys up to?"

Grif casually responds "We're deciding whether or not to kill you and wipe out your team forever."

As if it was just another day, mainly 'cause it was, Carrie nods and casually replies "Ah, so just another day?"

"Yep," Rowe murmurs popping the "p."

Grif smirks and says "We're kind of splittin' the decision right now," and points to him and Rowe.

Rowe then comments "Well….I wouldn't say that it's my choice, I'm just saying our options."

Grif rolls his eyes, "She's basically with me, deciding not to kill you."

"Do we get a vote?" Caboose asks curiously.

Simmons immediately balks at the idea and sputters "No! G-Get back to your base! Stop wandering around during your defeat. It's confusing!"

Caboose quickly replies "Oh! Okay. Sorry!" and he proceeds to run back to Blue Base.

Carrie mutters "Whatever."

"And what are you workin' on?" Simmons shouts after them.

Practically taunting, Carrie shouts back "Still not telling you!"

"Be careful!" Rowe shouts.

"We will!" Caboose shouts back.

"Hello? Hello? Hello?" Sarge calls getting no answer from he gets off the radio and grumbles, "They hung up on me!"

"Why?" asks Simmons.

"They said they didn't even have record of a Blue Team. Nothing on Blues at all in their computer system," Sarge explains he then mutters, "I guess we really did delete them from existence."

"Yeah," Simmons answers, "Don't you remember."

"Well….I remember now…." Sarge mutters.

"Not looking like such a good idea now huh Sarge?" Rowe laughs.

"Well…." Sarge drags out the word as he remises.

 _Flashback, Freelancer Base, at the computer._

"Simmons, execute the hypotenuse initiative, and delete the Blues," Sarge orders.

Simmons presses the switch and says, "Done! The Blues now never existed. I also upgraded your pay scale while I was at it."

Sarge nods proudly "Well deserved."

"Yeah, we win!" Grif lazily cheered as Sarge's shotgun points right at his head and fires disintegrating it.

Yet he somehow still managed to gurgle "Blarg! I am dead, but that's okay, I don't deserve to enjoy victory. My life has meant nothing."

"Well, I guess I don't need to use morphine on him anymore," Rowe chuckles. She then whips her hair in the wind that just appeared out of nowhere, "What next oh great leader?" She then strikes a pose in her nurse uniform.

"We're leaving and riding out into the sunset Nurse Rowe," Sarge confidently replies, he then turns to Simmons and orders, "What a great day! Simmons, transform into Motorcycle Mode."

Simmons replies in a monotone voice, "You got it, sir." He then proceeds to transform into a mongoose "Choop choop choop choop choop! Beep beep!"

"Oh my!" gasped Rowe, "That is so amazing Oh Great Leader."

Sarge climbs on and says to Rowe "Let's get out of here." Rowe giggles as she hops on the back and wraps her arms around Sarge. He then proceeds to rev the engine and shout "Yee-haw!" He then proceeds to drive out of the compound and off into the sunset.

 _End Flashback_

"That's not what happened!" Grif angrily cried.

Sarge counters with "Of course it is."

"Then how am I still alive?"

"I ask myself that question every day." Sarge then turns to Simmons and orders "Moto-Simmons! Run him over." Simmons deadpans.

Rowe, more confused than anything replies, "Not even gonna question the fact that you made me into a generic bimbo from some cheesy action movie but…." she asks this while scratching her head, "Why am I wearing an old fashioned nurse's outfit?"

"Because you're a medic," Sarge replies, "Nurse was the closest thing to it?"

"Yeah, but why a nurse's outfit?" Rowe asks again, "You couldn't even give me the dignity of wearing scrubs?"

"My entire fantasy is cheesy action movie Rowe, I clearly get everything that will make my character look cooler," Sarge laughs, "Plus you're the only female character on our team, who am I gonna have instead? Donut?"

This causes Rowe to ponder for a little, "Hmm, you may have a point…." she pauses, "But I still think your fantasy is sexist, debating if I';m gonna blame you still."

"Don't blame me!" Sarge cries, "Blame the writer."

 **Author's Note: Sorry this took so long, I've been real;y busy lately. I hope you all don't hate it, thank you for reading. That's all I can think of at the moment for this not. As always, Big Brother is Watching.**


	8. FRIENDS

**Author's Note: I am not sure when this chapter is out. It'll probably be a while. If you're wondering why, I have AP tests, so just heads up.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue.**

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

"Then there was the time we got a tank. Of course no one knew how to drive it, but then there was a big fight, my team got in trouble. So I talked to the tank. She was really nice, you're really gonna like her. Anyways, the team was in trouble, and I had to use the tank to drive out there to help them. ... We'll, help most of them. … Erm, some of them. ... Okay, let's just say this: I drove the tank, and some people got helped… and some other people didn't get helped. ... Details are really important." Caboose is then revealed sitting down to the right, crossed legged with Carrie's avatar facing him in a similar position and the storage unit to Caboose's left.

*crickets*

Carrie scratches her head "Huh?" she asks, "Didn't you say earlier that-"

"Shh!" Caboose hisses.

Taken aback by Caboose's outburst, Carrie

The humming from Epsilon just grows louder drawing their attention.

 _Meanwhile at Red Base_

Rowe watches on while Sarge was running around, searching through the multiple areas of the base for Grif and stops in front of the warthog.

"Grif!" he called out, "Where the hell are ya? Grif! Grif? Grif! Come on!"

"In here, in the base!" Grif shouts back.

"I can't hear you!" Sarge shouts, "Get out here!" Grif rolls his eyes and then proceeds to exit the base. Upon exiting, Sarge runs up to him and asks "Where's Simmons?"

Grif incredulously asks, " _Simmons_? If you wanted Simmons, then why didn't you yell like a lunatic for Simmons?"

Rowe sighs and shakes her head as she watches Sarge reply, "Damn it, Grif! I entrusted you with one duty! And that's to know exactly where Simmons is at all times so _I_ can find him! Simmons watches Donut, Donut watches me."

" Yeah, who watches me?" Grif counters.

Sarge sternly replies "Nobody. You move less than Donut does. Now where's Simmons?"

Grif shrugs, "I don't know, he's downstairs in your hologram simulation or whatever the hell you call it."

"Excellent work, Private Grif!" Sarge praised.

Somewhat surprised, Grif responds "Wow! Thank you, sir."

Sarge then continues on revealing his true opinion, "I'm gonna recommend you for a big shiny medal!"

Now realizing this, Grif asks "Okay, you're being sarcastic right now, aren't you?"

Sarge cheerfully replies "Oh, absolutely! … Wait, was your question sarcastic?"

Grif shrugs "Who knows? Probably? Unless—wait, are you being sarcastic right now by asking that?" An awkward silence follows as the two try to come to terms with what was just said. Watching from her distance vantage point, being the front of the base, Rowe facepalms and the stupidity of her team.

Sarge finally breaks the silence and says "Hm. Maybe we should drop this conversation."

"Yeeah…"

Sarge shouts over at Rowe, "How's Donut?"

Rowe deadpans, slowly looks to her left at Donut's comatose body, she looks back ands says, "He's still gone."

Sarge then turns to leave and asks Grif "What's Simmons doing downstairs?"

Without even looking, Grif lazily replies "Sorry! Not in my job description!"

"I'll ask him myself…" Sarge grunted.

As Sarge walks in, he notices Simmons working on the jeep, he shouts "Simmons! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Simmons looks up in surprise, "Really? Sorry, sir. I was just down here working on the jeep prototype. I know you really want to see it built, and we need to work on a few bugs in the design."

"A few bugs?" Sarge asks curiously.

Simmons casually responds "Yeah, you know, like the fact it stalls every time we fire the magnetic cannon, because you based it on an EMP."

Sarge nods "Oh, right!"

"Kind of a critical flaw, if you don't mind me saying," Simmons adds.

Sarge chuckles "Oh, I don't mind you saying! Feedback is important." At this point everyone reading this can all tell this isn't real, if you can't, I can't help you.

Simmons, surprised at Sarge's comment asks "...Really?"

Sarge nods and continues on "I know I can be rough sometimes, but that's only because it's hard being the leader! You know, dealing with those dirty Blues and that lousy Grif character all the time!"

Simmons took note and said "Well, he _is_ lazy, sir."

"I don't mean to complain," Sarge sighs, he then nervously stutters, "but sometimes… I just… need a friend…" Sarge then looks up and says "Simmons, we've been working together a long time. I hope I can call you a friend. And that you can call me… the same."

Simmons rubbing the back of his neck, sheepishly replies "Gosh, sir, I don't know what to say! If it's okay with you, I would really like it if I could just call you "dad.""

At this moment, the real Sarge enters into the room at the top level, he calls out "Simmons, are you down here?"

Simmons panicky cries back "What? Yes! I mean… yes! Give me a second, don't come in!"

Sarge then walks up to the balcony and shouts "What the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing!" Simmons cried, he then tried to say the exact same thing he had said to the hologram earlier, "I was just working on your jeep design and—"

"What?" Sarge cried in shock, "Stay away from my jeep! It's perfect! You'll just mess it up!" Sadly reality is different from dreams.

Simmons lets out a depressed sigh and says "Yes, sir."

Sarge then glances weirdly at the strange hologram in Red armor holding a shotgun, "And who are you talking to?" Simmons lets out another sigh as he glances over to the hologram and deactivates it.

"Nothing," Simmons replied dejectedly.

Sarge then orders "Well, get upstairs on the pronto! We need to have a meeting! And I need someone to agree with me."

Simmons then asks, "Do you want to brief me on the details first, so I know what I'll be agreeing to?"

"Oh yeah, I'll get riiiight on that. Send you a memo," Sarge sarcastically replies.

"Really?" Simmons asks, slightly hopeful, "Because I've been working on the template and I think it's ready to—"

Sarge lets out a big laugh, "No! Of course not! Why the hell would I do that? What, did you get exposed to radiation or something down here?" As Sarge leaves the room, he mutters "That boy's gone crazy…"

Right after Sarge left the room, Simmons grumbles " I like my digital life so much more than my stupid real life."

At that moment, a simulated Grid appears and cheerfully shouts, "I like boners!"

"Shut up fake Grif!" Simmons growls,and the follows Sarge out.

 _Meanwhile, Outside the Base_

"Hey Doc?".

"Yeah?" Rowe murmurs, not even looking up from her magazine.

"What do you think Simmons really is doing?" Grif asks.

"Working the the jeep, he didn't seem to like it."

Grif deadpans, "You really think that's it?"

Rowe ponders for a moment, "Weeeell….considering that Sarge's simulation room seems to be able to plan any scenario….I have numerous theories, most of them I don't want expanded upon or to come true."

"Well what's on the top of your list?"

"Oh boy…." Rowe mutters, she puts down the magazine and then sits up. "Well, the most likely one, in my opinion, is that he's trying to sort out some father issues that he has. It's also the one that will leave me the least scarred."

"Father issues?" Grif asks all confused.

"You never noticed did you?" Rowe laughs, Grif shakes his head still confused. "I think the reason he's always kissing Sarge's ass is because his father never really accepted him, he disappointed his father, or some other "my dad didn't love me" bullshit. You know?"

"Huh, that actually makes sense," Grif mumbled. "What were your other theories?"

Rowe immediately sits back down and pulls the magazine up in front of her face, "All I'm going to say is that the theory the will most likely traumatize me is him using the room in an attempt to talk to women….and other things."

Grif immediately felt a shiver go down his spine, "Ooo, that's terrifying." The magazine then slowly falls away from Rowe's face, blank face, eyes as wide as dinner plates. Grif worriedly asks, "What's wrong?"

"Just the thought that Simmons is using the room to….uh…." Rowe nervously stutters, "...C-come out."

"Come out?" Grif asks, "What do you-OOOOHHHH!" Grif looks at Rowe now sharing the same face, with that Rowe slowly nods.

"Finally!" Sarge shouts grabbing the two's attention. They look over and see Sarge coming out of the base with Simmons in tow. "Maybe now we can get started!" Sarge shouts.

"What's going on Sarge?" Rowe asks.

"Yes, we are dieing to know," Grif sarcastically adds.

Rowe notices something wrong with Simmons, "Hey, you okay?" she asks.

"Leave men alone." Simmons grumbles leaving behind a confused medic.

Sarge walks to the front of the group and announces "Men….and….uh….woman," Rowe rolls her eyes at this response, "As you know, the Blues have been erased from Command records, for some unknown reason."

"Unknown, sir?" Simmons comments, "We're the ones that did it!"

"You can't prove that," Sarge argues.

"I think we can—" Simmons counters.

Grif then interjects with "Prove it to who?"

Ignoring Grif, Simmons continues on, "—because we're the ones that did it."

"Allegedly," Sarge corrects.

"Here we go," Rowe mutters.

"Not allegedly. You told me to do it, and I did it," Simmons reminds.

Sarge cries, "Reportedly! Let's not go accusing people and inviting a lawsuit until we know the facts!"

Grif asks incredulously "Who's gonna sue us? Us? We're gonna—wait," Grif stops and ponders, he then actually asks out of genuine curiosity "Are we gonna sue ourselves?"

Sarge informs him "I'm going to defer this conversation to my legal team."

"We don't have one," Rowe groaned, slightly muffled due to her face being buried into her palms.

"Exactly," Sarge grins.

Grif then asks hopeful, "So that means the staff meeting is over?"

"No!" Sarge growled.

"Damn it!" a discouraged Grif cried, "Why not?"

Sarge replies "We have too much to discuss! Isn't that right, Simmons?"

Simmons let's out a defeated sigh "Absolutely, sir. No one has ever been more right than you."

"Wow, someone is phoning it in," Grif snickers, Rowe just looks at Simmons with growing concern.

"If the Blues aren't in Command's database, that means even if we destroy them in a resounding victory, it still won't count as a win! It's like we didn't even beat anybody!"

"No, we would beat them," Rowe corrects, "It's just no one will give a shit."

Sarge nods "Exactly!"

"Hey, that's right!" Grif cries, "I never thought about that, sir!"

Simmons rolls his eyes and shrugs " Meh. Whatever." This causes Rowe to once again, look at him weirdly. She then shares a glance with Grif realizing that the both had head his response.

Sarge didn't seem to notice, so he just keeps going "So that means, we can't kill the Blues."

Grif then comes to the realization, "Exactly. Because if we defeated them, it won't even count. And that's the best part about winning a war: getting the points."

"Bingo!" Sarge nods.

Simmons mutters "No, why would we try to win, it's only what we're supposed to do."

Rowe then asks curiously, "How are you planning to accomplish this?"

Sarge replies, "We need to find a way to get them back into the database first."

Rowe and Grif share another glance before Rowe nervously asks, "Right, and how do you plan on doing that?"

A few seconds of awkward silence pass before Sarge answers with "We, uh, we need to find a way to get them back-"

Rowe deadpans, "You have no idea do you?"

"Wait," Grif finally speaks up, "Let me try to recap what you just said and attempt understand this."

Sarge nods, "Go ahead."

Grif then summarizes Sarge's whole item "So, your plan is to hold off our attack until our superior officers take notice of one of the teams in this canyon? And, notice them well enough to actually go out of their way and add them back into the database? Or, do anything at all in any way to formally recognize us in an official capacity?"

"You got it?" A few more seconds of silence pass as Rowe warily glances between Grif and Sarge while Simmons lets out another disappointed sigh.

Grif finally breaks the silence by excitedly saying "This is probably the single greatest plan I've ever heard in my entire life."

"You would think that, kiss-ass," Simmons snarks,

Out of instinct, Sarge growls "Simmons! Can it! And thank-you, Private…" Sarge then pauses as he realizes who he's talking to "… Grif? Urgh!"

Grif just as confused, replies back "You're… welcome? Am I, saying that right?" Once again, the squad falls into silence as Grif and Sarge try to process what just happened and Simmons appears to not give a damn.

Rowe stares at all of them with wide eyes and she breaths "What just happened?!"

Sarge decides it would be best to just change the subject, "So! Our first order of business should be to fortify our own team! Get ready for the big battle! Let's get Donut back on his feet." They all turn to where Donut's body was lying only to notice the lack of body.

Grif asks the question on all their minds, "Hey, where's Donut?" Rowe at this point freaks out, she let's out a panicked scream and runs to where his body was at one point.

"DONUT!" she cries as she flips over all the crates in the area, "Donut, where are you?!"

Sarge then turns to Simmons and asks "Simmons, where'd he go!?"

"How would I know?" Simmons asks incredulously, "Isn't that Rowe's job?"

"No!" Sarge berates, "I keep track of Rowe and Rowe keeps track of all of us, but it's your job specifically to keep track of Donut! Keeping track of Donut is one of yer duties!"

"Oohhoohoo, busted!" Grif snickers.

"DONUT! I'LL FIND YOU! JUST WAIT!" Rowe turns back to the guys and cries out "GUYS CALL 911!"

"Well, it looks like Rowe has gone hysterical," Grif muses.

Simmons shrugs "Meh, who cares?"

Grif glances at him and accusingly comments "Really dude?"

Simmons confused, cries "What?"

 _Linebreak_

Meanwhile, back at Blue bas, Caboose is still telling Carrie and Epsilon about his adventures with the old Blue team.

"And then there was the time we turned all of our armor black, because Tex was captured. You remember her. I told you all about her."

"Yeah!" Carrie chirped, "She's the mean lady that you and daddy had to rescue?"

"Daddy? You mean Lockett?" Caboose asks, slightly surprised and confused.

Carrie nods, "Yes, when I first met him he felt like a father figure to me, so I figured why not."

"Oh," murmurs Caboose, "But I sometimes call him that too." Carrie then looks down for a moment, she places her hands behind her slightly turning back her body back and forth.

She shyly whispers, "Does that make you my brother?"

"Uh-huh, um…." Caboose stutters, "Do you want me to be? Your brother?"

Carrie shyly smiles and whispers "I think…..I think I would like that." She then giggles and happily states, "My big brother!"

Caboose finally get's back on topic, "Anyway….,as I was saying, .it was a crazy adventure. Then there was another time when she helped us break into O'Malley's fortress." Caboose then stops for a moment, places his hand under his chin and asks "Did I tell you that one already?"

Carrie shakes her head, "I don't think so."

Caboose then suddenly glances up, "Hey! Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched by someone?" Carrie suddenly freezes, eyes wide as see fearfully stares at the figure behind Caboose. A few more seconds of silence pass by, right when Carrie is about to scream, CAboose turns to the figure and sharply says "Donut, I'm asking you a question."

'Huh, so that's Donut,' thought Carie.

 **Author's Note: Jesus it's been a long time since my last post. I am really sorry guys, I have been really lazy, I'll be getting back on track this week, I hope. Anyway, I hope you guys didn't all leave my story, um I hope you liked my chapter and, see you later.**


	9. House Guest

**Author's Note: Here is the next chapter, hope you like.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue, Rooster Teeth does.**

House Guest

"Come on, men! Lopez said Donut went this way!" Sarge shouted as he lead his team to Blue Base.

Grif gasps "Are you sure that's what he said? I don't think _pendejo_ was Spanish for "that way." *pant* Right Rowe?"

"No," she wheezes, "I think it means "motherfucker" *gasp* but don't quote me on that."

 _Meanwhile…._

"Muffin Man!" Caboose explained, clearly surprised by their new, uninvited guest.

"Caboose…!" Donut rasps, "I have a message for Church! Wh… where is he?"

Somewhat concerned, Caboose asks, "Hey, are you okay?"

Donut waves it off and gasps "Just a little weak. Where's Church?"

Carrie and Caboose shae a nervous glance and Carrie says, "He's kind of….dead."

Donut just then notices Carrie, looking surprised he greets, "Oh hello. Who are you?"

"She's Carrie," Caboose explains, "She has to do with Church."

"So what happened to church then?" Donut asks, "What do you mean dead, wasn't he already dead."

"Uh, he's um, he… that's kind of, uh, um…" Caboose pauses as he tries to come up with an explanation, Caboose then decides to just tell Donut the truth and proceeds to summarize, rather quickly "It turns out he's really a computer program based on some guy who ran the Freelancer project and he went with Agent Washington, he's a Freelancer who destroyed all the AIs that were left."

Donut slightly confused, he asks, "Then where did Carrie come from?"

"She's an AI we rescued from command," Caboose replies.

"Huh," Donut mumbles, he then scratches his head and asks "How long was I asleep?"

Caboose shrugs and replies "Not that long."

Donuts breath becomes more laboured as he says "Listen… I don't know how long… I can stay awake. I need to give someone, on Blue Team, a message. … I promised."

"I know people on the Blue Team," Caboose says reassuringly, "People on the inside. You can give it to me."

"Tuck-" Donut rasps.

"Tuck!" Caboose cries out in surprise, "You want me to tuck? What do you want me to tuck? Wait, my mother told me to never tuck anything of anyone else's."

"Hey Big Brother?" Carrie calls catching his attention, "Let him finish please."

"Tucker…." Donut wheezes out.

Both Caboose and Carrie look up in surprise, "Tucker?"

Just before Donut slouches over and collapses, he manages to say "He needs, help. Find him… It's in… the sand…"

Caboose crouches down and cries out "It's in this and… this and what? Donut, this and what!? What is "this?" What, what, you're pocket? Is Tucker in your pocket? … I remember him being a lot bigger. Tucker! Are you in there!?"

Carrie then appears next to Caboose and she says "I think Donut meant there's something in the sand."

That just seemed to confuse Caboose more, "No, that can't be it. Why would there be something in the sand? There isn't even any sand here!" Carrie shrugs, also confused.

Then a voice with a Texan accent from the outside shouts "Hey! Anybody here? Blues? Where are ya?"

Carrie's attention gets drawn to the door while Caboose still didn't catch on, Caboose cries at Donut's body "Tucker! Is that you? Why did you shrink? And why are you talking like a pirate?"

"Hey, Caboose?" Caboose turns to Carrie, she points to the door. Caboose's eyes widen in realization.

"Hello?" Sarge called.

Caboose jumps up and shouts back "Hello! Yes, I hear you!"

"Then get outside! Both of you, I need to talk to you!" Sarge shouted back.

As the two starts to leave, Caboose chuckles to himself "Haha… man, sometimes I am so dumb."

"No Big Brother, you're not dumb Caboose," Carrie responds, "You just tend not to pick up on things from time to time."

"Oh, thank you Carrie!" Caboose smiles, he then crouches again down next to Donut and shouts "Hold on, Donut! Someone outside wants to talk to me! You can rest here as long as you want. You must be tired from all of "this and." And other stuff." Caboose then runs out of the base with Carrie on his shoulder.

Donut groans "No… It's not pink… it's lightish red… hey, Sarge… I should totally get a jetpack… or a motorcycle…"

 _Outside_

"Hi everyone," Carrie cheerfully greets, "It's great to see you all!"

"Unless you are here to blow us up again," Caboose adds.

"Then not so great," Carrie sheepishly replies.

Rowe somewhat amused by their antics greets back, "Hey Caboose, Carrie, how are yall doing? Everything fine?"

"Things are going great!" Caboose replies.

"Anyway, we were looking for something. Something we…." she looks back at her team, Sarge nods, "Something we lost."

Caboose responds with "Is it the keys to your base? I do that a lot. But it's really easy to break in because, there are no doors."

Sarge shakes his head "No, we're looking for something else. I'm not gonna tell you what it is and give you some kind of advantage. Neither are the rest of us." Rowe glances over at her squad leader and deadpans.

Carrie and Caboose share a glance before she asks "Can you describe?"

Grif answers "Yeah, it's pink…."

"It's annoying…." Simmons adds.

"It's oddly feminine even though it's a boy…." Rowe also adds.

"And it's kind of a spring in its step," Sarge finishes.

"Ohh," now coming to and understanding, "You mean Donut."

Sarge nods vigorously " Ah, yes! Where is he?"

"He's in the base," Carrie answers.

Caboose nods and says "Yes, he'll be staying with us for awhile."

Rowe sighs and silently mutters "Probably could have worded that better."

Sarge grabbed his head and cried "You've captured him? Diabolical… What are you doing with him!?"

Carrie reassures them, "Don't worry, he's fine, he's just passed out."

Caboose smiles, unintentionally creepy, "Don't worry. He's resting. Comfortably."

"What?" a confused Carrie asked.

Grif chuckles "Ooh, that sounds ominous. Don't back down now, sir."

"Grif!" Rowe scolds.

He replies innocently "What?"

"Give him back!" Sarge cried, clearly upset.

"He can't," Carrie replied.

"Why not!" Sarge cried.

"He was in the middle of telling us something right before you came," she continues. "Well, before he passed out of course."

"Oh no!" Sarge hysterically cried, "What were you doing to him while you were pressing for information?!"

"Huh?" Carrie responds blankly.

"Well this fell apart quickly," Rowe mutters.

Simmons sighs "Sarge, I don't think that he's—"

"Hey!" Caboose cried defensively, "No one is squeezing anybody. I was just working with my tools and he—"

"Torture!?" Sarge screamed, "You ungodly fiend! He won't give you any info! He'll die before he reveals anything!" Sarge then runs to the entrance, cups his hands around his mouth and shouts "Hear that, Donut? You'll die before you talk! We all know that, keep up the good work!" Sarge then turns back to the group who looked surprised at what had just occurred.

"Actually," Caboose spoke up, "He already told us the beginning part."

"He told you about our secret new vehicle!? Damn it, Donut, you idiot!"

Rowe's head immediately snaps to her leader and Simmons cries out "Sarge!"

Carrie, confused shakes her head and says, "No, all he told us was something about "the sand.""

"Yes," Caboose nods, "He told me about "this and.""

Carrie tries to correct him, "No Caboose, he said-"

"He told you about that _and_ our new hologram chamber!? Donut, put a lid on it!" Sarge screamed.

"Your what?" Carrie and Caboose asks.

"Sarge!" Simmons cries out.

"Simmons, I am telling you this as your friend, don't bother," Rowe said nonchalantly while she unscrewed the cap off of a flask that she grab from seemingly out of nowhere.

Simmons, defeated, let's out a sigh and says "Fine, I'm gonna go sleep under a tree. Come wake me up when the brain summit is over." While he was leaving, Rowe ponders for a moment, 'That was a very Grif thing,' she thought right before she takes a quick swig from the flask.

She then glances over to Grif as he chuckles to Simmons "Are you kidding? I hope this lasts forever." Grif then leans closer to Sarge and whispers, sort of, not really "Psst, hey Sarge. Maybe there's a ransom."

Sarge nods" Good thinking. What is it you want, Blues?"

"What do I want?" Caboose asks repeating the question, "… Do you have any cookies?"

Carrie smiles at Caboose and whispers to herself, "Of course you would."

"What are your demands? You have to give us your demands," Sarge orders.

"I demand cookies!" demanded Caboose.

Carrie giggles and decides to play along, "Yeah! I want cookies too! Give us cookies!" she joyfully cries.

Rowe stops and deadpans, "You can't even eat them though."

Carrie and Caboose share and glance and they both reply "So?"

Rowe holds her blank stare for a few moments longer before she breaks and says, "Okay, I give up." She then takes and long swig from her flask, "I'm gonna need more vodka," Rowe grunts as she takes a longer swig from the flask. Grif glances over to Rowe and he stops and stares.

"What?" she asks. Her hand glances down to the flask in her hands, without another word uttered, she raises the flask and offers Grif a sip. Grif, without question takes the a quick sip and hands it back.

Sarge then angrily shouts "You're just toying with us! Your depravity knows no bounds!"

"Yeah!" Grif shouts with a huge grin on his face.

Caboose then huffs and says "Well, at least I don't go around… knocking on people's non-doors… and promising them cookies…" heads inside, "and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES!" His head pops back out for a moment and screams "I'M! LEAVING!"

"YEAH! YOU ANGRY OLD MEANIE!" Carrie cries with equal anger and frustration.

"Wait-" Sarge cries right as Carrie disappears.

"So….." Grif suddenly says, "Plans Doc?"

Rowe glances at her now empty flask, "I just got bombarded by a large amount of stupidity in just a short span of time, while Simmons sleeps it off, I'm gonna get drunk."

"Hmm, it's a good plan," Grif nods, he then notices Sarge walking over, he asks "Looks like negotiations have broken down. Should we call in a nuke strike?"

"Don't encourage him," Rowe mutters to Grif, he waves her off.

Sarge shakes his head and says, "Negative. We've got a man in there! Well, you know… Donut."

"Wait," Grif mumbles, his eyes widen, he suddenly turns to Rowe and asks, "Doc, where'd you get your alcohol from?"

Rowe freezes, she nervously shuffle,s looks every but at grif's eyes, "Ummm….Weeeell….About that…."

Then suddenly a cry rings out "Ow! That hurt!" His eyes still glued onto Rowe, Grif doesn't noticed Sarge running past him.

"Ow, listen to that!" Sarge hysterically cries "They're killing him in there!"

 _Inside the Base_

Caboose immediately jumped off of Donut and said "Oops! Sorry, Donut! Didn't mean to step on your hand like that. Are you okay."

"Wh," Donut pants, quickly coming back to consciousness, "What happened? Who was that?"

"Oh them? It was just your team," Carrie explains.

"What did they want?" he asks.

"They were looking for you," Carie replies, "The uh...they weren't very, cordial."

"What did they do?"

"They were playing some kind of prank"Caboose grumbles " … Offering snacks and then not giving snacks…"

"Oh, I hate when they do that," Donut responds feeling sympathetic to Caboose's plight.

Carrie starts to comfort him by saying "It's okay Big Brother," she says, "I'll help you make some later okay?"

That did the trick as Caboose instantly felt better, he cheerfully says "Okay!"

"Can I help?" Donut asks, still on the ground.

Caboose looks to carriie for approval, she gives a warm smile and nods, Caboose cheers "YES! Cookies for everyone!"

"Anyway," Donut finally drags them back on topic, "Who was outside?"

"Uh, it was Red Sergeant and Grif. They were working together while Simmons was laying under a tree, being lazy," Caboose quickly replies.

A few seconds pass before Donut asks "Huh? What the…? How long was I asleep this time?"

"A few minutes," Carrier answers, "Maybe 5."

"Donut!" Sarge screamed, "Just don't tell 'em we have Lopez back!"

 **Author's Note: Thank you all for reading, I hope you like it. If you have any ideas you would like to see, let me know, I'll see what I can do, I am always open for advice or anything new to add. Until next time Remember, Big Brother is Watching….Always…**


	10. Catching Up

**Author's Note: For those who don't know, no "Big Brother is watching" was not for Caboose. The phrase was a propaganda slogan for the book** _ **1984 by**_ **George Orwell** **, just for future reference. New chapter for yall hope you enjoy. Also, man am I lazy, just started playing Rainbow Six Siege, not the most productive way to be spending my time. Slowly but surely I'm gonna fix it….or relapse, one of those things.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue, Roosterteeth does.**

Catching Up

"Private Donut, we want to debrief you now that your tour at Blood Gulch is over," the Counselor explained.

"Great!" Donut chirps, he then frowns, "Wait… over?"

The counselor continued "I'm just going to ask you some, standard questions to rate your experience, and I will be filling out a form based on your responses. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," replies Donut.

The counselor nods "Alright, then let's begin. During your employment, you were assigned to the Red Team. Is that correct?"

Donut nods enthusiastically "That's right! You can tell by my lightish-red armor."

The counselor, now confused asks "I'm, a bit confused. By "lightish-red…" do you mean "pink?""

Donut slightly annoyed, shakes his head and replies "No. I mean "lightish-red."" What followed was a brief period of awkward silence.

Finally, the consular speaks "Let's come back to this during the free-form period."

"Okie-doke."

The Counselor moves right ahead "Now, as to your experience in Blood Gulch, would you say it was…" Counselor pauses and the options appear on the screen in front of Donut as he lists them out "Satisfactory, somewhat satisfactory, or, unsatisfactory?"

Donuts hmms "I would say… satisfactory."

Counselor then adds "All right. Now I want you to look at this picture." He then lists out the options, "Would you say it is, A: the new location where you team was assigned; B: the source of a mysterious energy reader; or, C—"

Donut cuts in and simply says "That's just where we landed."

The Consular immediately stops his listing, he curiously asks, "…where you landed. Can you elaborate?"

Donut cheerfully nods, "Yeah. We were diffusing a bomb by this guy "Omega," but then the bomb went off, and it was just this huge explosion that it totally threw us into the future, and we landed there in that place."

The Consular, even more confused now, asks " I'm not sure I understand… The future?"

Donut then explains "Sarge said that since we were surrounded by ice when the bomb went off, and then it was all sand, the Ice Age must've ended, and that would've taken a _really_ long time. So, it must've pushed us into the future." A few long seconds of silence pass as the Consular just stares with his mouth open.

He finally says "…I… don't have a check box for that. So I'm just going to write down "other…""

Donut shrugs and adds "Yeah, "other" works. I like other!"

The Counselor lets out a sigh and says "Well, I suppose there's no reason to ask the rest of our questions. Thank you for a very… enlightening interview."

 _Flashback Ends_

"So, then after that, they transferred me to that new base. I guess we left before we were supposed to do what they wanted us to," Donut finished

Caboose was heavily invested into the story, Carrie on the other hand as just confused. Finally, after a few moments of silence, her mind finally finishes processing the story she was just told.

"Huh?!" she asks.

She then looks over to Caboose who as if on cue, says "That's a pretty crazy story, Donut." I mean, his voice treats it like it's an everyday occurrence but whatever.

"Donut," Carrie breathed, "What does this have to do with Tucker?"

"Oh, I'm getting to that," Donut replies. He then continues "But when I got there, all I found was the distress beacon from Tucker."

"Well, what did it say?" Carrie asks.

"Well," Donut replies "It said to get Church. I think Tucker was captured. There was something there." Donut shivers as he recalls the moment, "Something scary."

"That sounds scary," Caboose murmurs.

Somewhat worried now, Carrie asks "Any idea on what it was?"

Donut shakes his head and says "No." Donut then looks at the Epsilon unit beside him, he comments "Hey, this thing sure makes a racket."

Carrie shrugs, "Yeah, well he tends to do that when we talk to him, we like it but, sorry if that bothers you."

Donut cheerfully replies "No it's fine, I like it too." He then looks back at Epsilon, "So, you've been telling it stories?"

Caboose nods "Yeah, both of them," he motions to Carrie and Epsilon, "Yeah you know, to the best of my memory."

"The best of _your_ memory?" Donut mimicked incredulously. He glances at Carrie who just sheepishly shrugs and her murmurs "I bet those were some pretty weird stories." He then asks "So, what is it?"

Caboose replies as if on queue "Oh, it's a memory component from a bigger A.I. that a bunch of scientists wanted to copy to make more, but they couldn't. So they drove it crazy until it developed this split personality, and then they harvested all the different personalities for their experiments. Yeah." He then turns to Carrie for confirmation.

"Good job!" she whispers and holds up a thumbs up and gives him a reassuring smile.

Donut takes a moment to process the story, "Pretty weird," he muses.

Carrie nods "We're using it, parts of Tex's body and parts of Sheila to make Caboose here a new super best friend. …but it's not going so well. … he kinda lit himself on fire, and by default me aswell, not that I can feel it."

"Where did you get it?" Donut asks.

"Where he got me," Carrie replies.

"Okay?" he murmurs, he then asks "What happened there?"

Caboose cheerfully replies "We were on a big adventure, kind of like your adventure, and then we needed help kind of like you need help, and then we needed some help and we got help from somebody. It was very helpful."

"Was this person Lockett?" Donut asks.

"No….but he was helpful too!" Caboose smiles, "We'll uh…." he glances at the Epsilon capsule, "We'll call him….later."

"Oh," murmurs Donut, "Well….who was the other person, and can he help me too?"

"Oh," scoffs Caboose, "OH?" he then asks releasing Donut's request?

 _Somewhere with a Prison_

A guard walks up to a prison cell and shouts "Washington! Got a call for you."

Wash looks up surprised by this, he asks "Call for me? Who even knows I'm here?"

The guard explains "Tune in on your personal secure channel. They routed it to us," as Washington begins to leave, he continues "You can take it in here if you want."

"Thanks," he lazily replies.

"Three minutes!" the guard reminds.

Slightly confused, Wash stops and asks "What?" he then realizes what he meant, "Oh, yeah, okay." Washington then walks up to the ringing phone and answers it. "This is Agent—um" he pauses as he remembers that he lost his former title, "… this is Washington. Who's there?"

"Agent Washington!" Caboose joyfully cried.

"Oh dear lord!" Wash cried in disbelief, "Caboose?! How did you even find me?"

"You are on my computer screen!" he replies, "I just looked at it!"

" No, I mean… never mind," Was quickly moves on and asks "What's going on, are you okay? I haven't heard anything about you."

"We're doing great Wash," Carrie replies cheerfully.

"I can see that," he snorts, "I see you still have Iota."

"Carrie," she corrects.

"How have you been Agent Washington?" Caboose asks cheerfully.

Wash scoffs and says "All things considered, guess I should be glad to be alive." While they were talking, they all fail to notice Rowe who has walked up behind them and is now leaning against a wall with a somewhat amused look on her face.

Caboose continues on "Yeah… did you get a big medal from beating Project Freelancer?"

Wash laughs and says "Yeah. Sure. I got a bunch more metal in my life now. How about you?"

Caboose shouts excitedly "They gave us shiny new bases! The Reds have their place, and we have our own place! It's kind of cool! I think I'm gonna get a drum set."

"You deserve one Big Brother," Carrie smiles, "specially with all the work you've done."

Wash smiles "…yeah," he then frowns and asks, "Wait. Seriously? You have a new base? Iota-" she shoots him a glare, "Uhh, Carrie, is this true?"

She nods, "For the most part. I mean, they're not brand new, they're the ones in Valhalla. You know, the ones left over from that whole debacle with Project Freelancer."

"They _gave_ you a base," Wash comments, emphasizing "gave."

Caboose incredulously asks " What, you didn't get a new base too?"

Wash deadpans "… No. No, I didn't."

Carrie then offers "Well, if you want, you can always come and stay with us. Oh, and by the way, we need your help. We were wondering if you were available."

Still deadpanned, Wash replies "No, I don't think I am."

"Oh," Carrie mummers, "Well, thanks anyway." Wash then hangs up.

The guard approaches him from behind and says "Alright, Washington. Back in your cell."

Wash turns and says "Guard, I need to see the Commander. Now."

The guard scoffs " Yeah, right. Why the hell would I let you do that?"

Wash replies "Because I think I just found the missing piece to his puzzle."

 _Meanwhile back at Blue Base_

"Agent Washington are you still there?" Caboose asked the black screen.

"That was abrupt of him," Carrie mutters.

"Hello?" Caboose asks. "Hello? Hello? Hello?"

"Caboose," Donut calls out, "I think he hung up."

Caboose didn't seemed convinced, "No I don't think he would do that," he turns to Carrie and asks "Carrie what do you think?"

"Hmmm," Carrie pondered, "He hung up for sure, just kind of wonder if there's something else going on."

A voice from behind asks "What are you three doing?" All of them jump and turn to face Rowe who has been standing there watching them to whole time.

"Doc Rowe!" Donut cries out in surprise.

"We just uh…." Caboose stammers, "We were just uh….staring at the um….black scre-"

"You were talking to Wash weren't you Carrie?" Rowe asks.

Carrie hangs her head and gloomy says "Yes."

Rowe rolls her eyes and places her hands on her hips and like a mother scolding her children "Donut I'll look you over later, to the rest of you, why did you call Wash?"

"We needed his help!" Carrie cried.

"For what?" she asks.

"To help Tucker!" replied Donut.

"Tucker? Fine, why are you calling Wash though?" she asks.

Carrie and Caboose shared a glanced and said, "He was the first person we could think of."

"Whatever," she then continues "Speaking of Wash, I wonder why he's still in prison."

"Prison?" asks Donut.

"Yeah," Rowe nods, "Wash got arrested after our adventure, Locket's been trying for months to try and get him out, but nothing's come up."

"Really? Nothing?" asks Carrie in surprise.

Rowe nods again "Yeah, Locket's been going on about how they wouldn't release Wash without anything to help clear him of his charges."

"Evidence?" Carrie and Caboose asks, slightly nervous now.

"Lockett says that they should have found the memory unit when they picked you guys up," Rowe explains, "but the MPs say they never found the memory un….." she then glances to the right of the two and sees Epsilon and her arms fall to her side and she deadpans. "Caboose? Carrie?"

The two, now shaking, they answer "Yes?"

Rowe continues "Tell me that's not what I think it is?"

Carrie and Caboose share a glance and reply back "It's not what you think it is." She narrows her eyes on them and they visibly gulpo.

She then facepalms and grumbles "I should have know." She let's out a sigh and says "I gotta make a phone call."

 **Author's Note: So….in other news, I just graduated from high school a couple days ago. Yay? The good news is I now have no excuse to keep putting off writing, so you guys better get on that. I need some proper motivation oty say the least. Anyway, I hope you guys liked the episode, sorry it came out so late, I 've been….really lazy. Once again, sorry guys, I'll see you all soon.**


	11. Familiar Faces

**Author's Note: Hey it's me, just uh, here with another chapter. It's fun yeah? BTW, it's only a familiar face for those who have read my other story, for the rest of you, it's just a character familiar to the team.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue, Rooster Teeth does..**

Familiar Faces

*ring ring….ring ring* A man who is leaning back in his chair reaches over and presses a button on his computer and without even looking answers "2nd Lieutenant Locket."

"John, it's Jack," a female voice replies.

He locket stretches and sits up "Rowe? Your team's report isn't due for another three days. Hows Caboose and Carrie?" Rowe wearily glances at the group, Donut and Carrie glance over at Epsilon who start makings noise and Caboose just stares off to the side.

"Fine," she murmurs. "So uh," she turns back to the screen, "How have things been with you."

"Well first, you are going to clarify that answer later," Lockett replies.

"Right are you busy?" she asks. Locket glances over to the right and sees a large stack of paperwork he had just completed, he then looks to the left and sees a stack just as big.

"Not more than usual," he sighs, "Kinda dumb how they still want hardcopies in the 26th century. It was weird and tedious in the 21st and it's even more so 500 years later. Anyway what's the matter?" He then pulls up another file and begins to follow the same process he's been doing for what feels like thousands of other reports. Sign, here, here, and here, fill out this and file.

"I'm getting to that, have you personally had any problems lately?" she then asks.

"Once again, not more than usual," Lockett replies, "Though now that you mention it, getting Wash's releases papers have been quite the headache."

A little nervous now, Rowe tries to pass it off while she formulates a plan on breaking the news to Lockett, "Uh, how come?"

"Apparently they don't have a good reason to pardon him," Locket scoffs, "I mean, I thought it was because they needed more clarification on the evidence or something,but no, they in fact have NO evidence. Which is weird because the memory unit we grabbed should have been enough, but they told me they never received such unit."

"Oh mon Dieu," Rowe whispers taking a deep breath, "Like a band aid."

"You say something?" Lockett asks while he takes a sip from his cup of coffee.

'Just tell him, no bullshit,' Rowe thought as she replied "We still have Epsilon." Upon hearing this, Locket lurches forward, he quickly grabs a trash can from under his deals and proceeds to spit the coffee he just drank into it. He then stares blankly at the trash can with coffee leaking out of it as he realizes that the trash can he just spit into was a metal mesh one.

"Fuck it," he mutters.

"Lockett," Rowe calls,

Lockett turns and lets out a sigh "It was Caboose wasn't it?"

"Hi Lockett!" Caboose cheerfully shouts "I missed you! We held onto Epsilon like you told us." Rowe facepalms, Donut looks around confused and Carrie just stares blankly at the wall as she realizes what she kept forgetting. Funny how even supercomputers and A.I.s forget things like people too.

"You know, this actually explains a lot," Lockett mutters, rubbing his face with his hands. "Is that all?" Lockett asks.

"Oh," Woe rp[eli's, "Donut came with a distress call from Tucker, saying that they found something in the sand. You have any idea what that is?" A long period of silence occurs as Lockett quietly goes over what he just heard. Rowe, unsure if he was still there called out "Lockett."

"You guys hold on, I'll be in touch soon!" Before he hangs up he shouts "And don't do anything stupid!" He then runs out of the room and breathes "I need to see the Chairman."

 _Blue Base_

After a few seconds of silence, Donut says "Okay. Well, I think I'll just head back to my base. If you can think of anything to help me with that desert situation, just give me a ring."

Rowe sighs "Donut hold on, I'll just be a moment."

Donut then turns to Caboose and Carrie and offers "Caboose, Carrie? You need any help with your Frankenstein-friend project?"

Carrie replies "Oh, no, but uh, if you see any mechanical parts laying around that" looks at Caboose who winces "… look friendly, would you save them for us?"

Rowe rolls her eyes while Donut happily chirps "Well, sure! I can ask Sarge if he used his underground secret workshop. I heard the guys talking about it, it sounded cool."

Caboose then says "Oh right, they mentioned that earlier when they came by to pick you up."

Rowe then starts dragging Donut "Right, I highly doubt that but I'll be sure to ask. Come on Donut, we don't want to hear Sarge bitch now do we? Hell, maybe we'll even catch him in a good move putain de vieillard."

Carrie shouts after them "Oh, you could try killing the orange one first! That would probably put him in a great mood!"

"Thanks for the input!" Rowe shouts back, she then quickly follows it up with a stern order "Don't break anything!"

Carrie flinches, she turns to Caboose and says "I think she was talking to you."

"Man it's sucks we can't kill people on our team while Blue team gets away with it all the time," Donut whines as the two step into the man cannon, his voice fading off into the distance as he whines "Man our team sucks."

Caboose eyes widen in realization as he murmurs "Ohhh. So that's how that works." Caboose and Carrie soon head downstairs.

"So what now?" Carries asks, "I'm out of ideas."

Caboose ponders for a moment and then says "Secret underground workshop, huh?"

Carrie's eyes widen "Caboose I don't think we should do that."

"Well, we have to try something," Caboose retorts, he then looks around at the mess in the base and comments "I don't seem to be very good about doing this on my own." At the moment, a random ignition occurs to their right causing Carrie to jump a little. Caboose cries out "All right, now how did that even start!?"

 _Linebreak_

While Donut and Rowe walk to Red Base, Donut comments "Man I do feel bad that we can't help Caboose, specially with that whole Tucker thing."

Rowe sighs "Caboose will be fine, and as for Tucker, knowing Lockett, he's probably assembling something right now as we speak to get us help."

Donut then asks "What are we gonna tell Sarge? I wonder what they're planning right now?"

Rwoe let's out a sigh, "Do you really not know?" When Donut shakes his head, Rowe rolls her eyes and replies "Sarge is trying to organize a rescue ,mission, preferably one that get's Grif killed in the process. I thought you would know that by now."

Donut, shaken by the fact he didn't think of the obvious breathes "Man I must have been out for a while."

 _Red Base_

Sage stands up and says "Men, with Donut captured, I think we should abandon our previous plans of not attacking the Blues and institute a new plan, of attacking the Blues. Right as we speak, Doc Rowe is over there risking her ass to bring us valuable intel on the Blue's current actions." While he talks, his gaze slowly drifts to Grif.

Grif groans "Why are you looking at me when you say that?"

Sarge excitedly says "Thanks for volunteering, Grif!" Unknown to him, both Donut and Rowe could be seen approaching behind him from the hill. Sarge obliviously continues "Now the plan is to run straight at Blue Base, grab Donut, and carry him home over your shoulder, even if he's not hurt. That way when the Blues track you down to kill ya, Donut will still have fresh legs to run home and avoid recapture."

Simmons raises his hand and says "Um sir?"

Still oblivious, Sarge hisses "Quiet, Simmons!" Donut and Rowe were now standing beside Sarge, Donut looked around confused while Rowe placed her hands on her hips and donned a bemused smirk. Sarge continued on "You've been too unreliable lately for a suicide mission. I think I need to go with a pro."

Grif scoffs "Gee thanks, sir."

Sarge the hysterically cries "Just get him back here! I can't stand Donut being captured another minute!"

Rowe finally gives in "Sarge."

Sarge turn back and says "One moment Doc," he then turns back to Grif and Simmons, but he then stops and he looks back at Rowe slowly.

Donut comments "Aw thanks Sarge, that was sweet of you."

"What the?" Sarge finally breaths.

Grif remarks "Mission accomplished, sir."

Sarge then as if on queue replies " Excellent work, Private Grif!"

Grif decided to test Sarge, "Thanks, sir. Request permission to go AWOL for a few months?"

Sarge just as quickly growled "Permission denied."

Grif just shrugs "Eh. Had to try."

Rowe mutters "Lazy bastard."

Sarge turns to Rowe and cries out "Rowe! You're back," he turns his gaze to Donut "and you've brought Donut! Donut! Are you okay?" he turns back to Rowe and asks "Is he okay?"

Rowe snorts, "Trust me, he's fine."

"You are a god damn fine soldier Rowe!" Sarge nods proudly.

Rowe rolls her eyes "Gee thanks."

"Donut!" Sarge cries again, "Did they hurt you?"

Rowe groans while Donut replies "Hurt me? Oh no, not at all, and it's only two of them."

"Two of them huh?" Sarge scratches his chin, "That seems like it could be a tactical advantage."

"We already knew that!" Simmons cried.

Sarge nods "And now it's confirmed."

Grif smirks and says "Permission to switch Simmons to the Blue Team, sir?" He gives a sheepish shrug when Rowe throws him another glare. Yeah he knows how to deal with her now.

"Permission denied!" Sarge growls without even flinching.

Grif shrugs again and says "Eh. Had to try."

Simmons finally fed up, groans and says " Fuck it. I'm gonna go help Lopez with the jeep," he then runs off.

Sarge turns to the pink soldier and says "Okay, Donut. I want as much information as possible. Let's get you debriefed."

"That sounds like fun," commented Donut, he then looks around and turns back and says "Boy, things have _really_ changed around here."

"That's not what I meant!" Sarge angrily cries.

 _With Caboose Overlooking the Red Base_

"Caboose?" Carrie nervously calls out, "I really don't think this is a good idea."

Caboose waves it off and says "Don't worry Carrie, it'll be fine, back at the old place, we use to do this all the time."

"But what if you break something?" Carrie asks still worried.

"We're just going to look," Caboose replies reassuringly.

Carrie visibly sighs, she then finally caves and says "Fine, just looking though."

Caboose cheers and then turns to the group and says "Okay, let's go," he turns Epsilon and whispers "Remember, try to stay quiet. It's sneaking time." Caboose then runs off to Red Base and ducks right behind a rock. Caboose then moves behind some barricades where Lopez and Simmons are fixing the jeep. He then spontaneously pops up from behind other barricades and boxes as he gets closer to the Reds.

Simmons then angrily cries " No, no! That one goes there, this one goes here!"

Lopez replies in his monotone voice "Este argumento es redundante. Se lo que corresponde a donde. [This argument is redundant. I know what corresponds to where.]"

Simmons groans and says " Here, just let me do it, give me your wrench."

Lopez replies "Este es un martillo, maldito idiota. [This is a hammer you fucking idiot.]" Caboose then runs behind a metal box and begins to slide with it passed Sarge it towards the Red Base.

"Did you tell him anything?" Sarge asks Donut.

Donut shakes his head " Not really. It seems like they had most of the information anyway."

Sarge looked up in surprise "What?" he asked.

Donut nods "Yeah! I was actually surprised by how much information they had gathered about our weapons and facilities." Then everyone hears a scraping noise, Rowe freezes, eyes wide looks straight at the crate moving behind Sarge. Grif looks at the same crate and sighs.

Sarge looks around, cept behind him and he cries "We've got a leak! Grif, find out who's been jammin'!"

Grif and Rowe silently watch as Caboose continues to sneak to Red Base chanting "Sneaking, sneaking, sneaking, sneaking," to himself.

"Guys…." Rowe murmurs, "I'll be right back." She then walks off with her gaze never leaving the box.

Sarge who didn't notice Rowe's departure, finally grabs Grif's attention "Grif, can you find the leak or not!?" At the moment the box crashes into something and Caboose stops.

Caboose quietly yelps "Oh! What was that?"

"Caboose shhh!" Carrie hisses.

Grf deadpans and sighs again "I'll get right on that, sir. I'm sure the leak is someone very close to us. Specifically, someone very nearby me."

"Hmm, there's nothing really here," Caboose muses.

"That's the point of a simulation room Caboose," Carrie explains, "Nothing appears until you make it appear?"

"Like you think of it?" Caboose asks scratching his head.

Carrie shakes her head "No, you type it into a computer."

"Oh," Caboose answers. "So what do we do?"

"I guess we should just look around," Carrie suggests.

Caboose groans and cries out "This room is boring! Boring, boring… boring… boring… boring… boring…" Carrie looks around confuses then she realizes that there wasn't really an echo, it was just Caboose. Caboose stops and smiles innocently and Carrie giggles at her companions silliness. Epsilon then starts making noise taking the attention of both.

"Epsilon, shush!" they both cry, but Epsilon just gets louder, "Epsilon, seriously! Stop it. They're going to hear you!" The memory capsule all of a sudden opens and it reveals a figure.

"It's you," they both gasp.

 **Author's Note: This is the second the last chapter of this series. The next episode is where I'm gonna end it off and that will tie into my other story where the rest of it will continue. I hope you enjoyed this story this far and I hope to see you all again. Thanks for reading and as all ways, Big Brother is Watching.**


	12. Another Adventure

**Author's Note: So, final chapter of "Tale of Two Cs." We'll see how it goes.**

 **Disclaimer: Red vs Blue does not belong to me, it belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

Another Adventure

"It's you!" both Carrie and Caboose gasp.

Now revealed from the memory unit, there stood Delta whom replied "Hello, Caboose, Iota.

"Carrie," she quietly mutters.

"It seems fitting to say that it is good to see you again. Although, technically, that is untrue…"

"Delta!" Caboose cried joyfully, "I thought you were gone! I thought you were erased at the… eh… electronic thing whose name some people have trouble remembering."

"Electromagnetic Pulse," Carrie corrects.

"Yeah that, thank you Carrie," Caboose replies, Carrie smiles back.

Delta the corrects them "Actually, this is not Delta. We simply thought that you would be most comfortable speaking to Delta."

"We?" they both ask.

"Well, you Iota," Delta explains, "Yes. Epsilon strongly remembers all the other AI in fragments. When Alpha went insane, Epsilon carried the burden of those memories. We can appear as anyone, in this case, Delta, whom, from Caboose's stories, was a trusted source of information for you. Therefore, we felt it best that we take his likeness for this conversation."

"Yeah but…." Caboose motions at Carrie, "She wasn't exactly in that part."

Delta responds "We know, but we also felt that it would still be easier if we had your messenger take the form of Delta in comparison to say…..Omega."

"That's a very good point," Caboose comments.

"We thought you would say that," Delta replies thoughtfully.

"So you can… appear as anyone?" Caboose asks. Carrie, slightly confused, glances at him.

"Where's he going with this?" Carrie murmurs to herself.

Delta nods "Theoretically, yes. Anyone in our memory banks."

"What about a chair?" Caboose asks innocently.

"Oh, that's where," Carrie mumbles to herself, again.

Delta replies " If you felt that was fitting, the holographic technology in this room allows us to project ourselves in any matter. It is surprisingly advanced."

Caboose nods, then he asks "How about a giraffe?"

"That would be an interesting way to deliver a message," Carrie snickers.

Delta, now looking slightly annoyed says "Look. Let's just say we can look like many different things and just leave it at that. Okay?"

"Okay," they both reply.

"We regret that we will not be able to appear to you or communicate with you outside this room, so you must listen carefully. …" Delta then turns to Caboose and asks "Caboose, did you understand what—"

Carrie giggles while Caboose gives a monotone reply, "I'm listening carefully."

Delta looks a little worried, but Carie reassures him "Don't worry, I'm recording your message just in case he forgets." She gives the green hologram a wink, "I gotcha covered."

Delta nods, "All right, to put it simply, we need the two of you to find a way to help us. Washington said that when Epsilon was recovered, that our memories could be used to punish people who tortured Alpha." Caboose worriedly looks over to Carrie, Carrie waves him off telling him she's fine. Though Caboose didn't seem convinced, he did respect his new found sibling's privacy, he figured that Carrie would tell him when she was ready.

Carrie then turns to Delta and with a serious look, she asks "What do you need us to do?"

Delta then warns "Washington will not trust us, and our new recent attempts to build a new body are not working."

"It exploded," Carrie murmured with a goofy smile.

"And we had a fire," Caboose adds in a similar tone with a just as goofy smile, both of them let out an awkward laugh as they recalled their recent failure.

Delta continued on "We remember. Your friend from Red Team described a location nearby with a strange energy source."

"Oh, that's where Tucker is," Caboose comments.

Delta pauses for a moment, he then looks at Caboose and comments "We don't have many memories of him."

Caboose sheepishly nods "Yeah, I never really liked him so… I leave him out of most of the stories."

Delta then explains "The Freelancer Project found sources of intense energy, so a scenario team was sent to investigate the area, but they left without doing anything."

"Wow, they sounds dumb," Caboose snickers.

"You said it, what a waste of military resources, Big Brother is never that wasteful," Carrie scoffs.

"Yep!" Caboose says proudly "I always recycle."

"Indeed," Delta nods, not sure who he was agreeing to, "This place sounds like the location of the energy source. You should go there and investigate. We can explain more when the opportunity arises."

Carrie nods "Alright, we'll do it." Carrie turns to her brother and asks, or more like she states "Right Caboose?"

Caboose lowers his head and grumbles "Okay, we can help you. Even though it means we have to help Tucker too."

"Thank-you, both of you. We have to go now. Someone is coming. Remember: memory is the key," Delta then vanishes back into the Epsilon unit.

Caboose cocks his head and cries out " What? I thought we were done with that part."

Rowe comes running in and cries "What are you two doing?!" She was closely followed by Sarge with Grif and Simmons hot on his heels with Donut in the back.

Sarge shouts "A-hah! Somebody _is_ down here!"

Simmons grumbles "See, I told you it wasn't me who moved your favorite crate."

Sarge turns to Simmons retorts "All right, Simmons, I said I believed you. So just drop it already!"

When Sarge looks away, Simmons mumbles under his breath "I don't know why you like that stupid thing so much anyway…"

The two look up at the reds as Sarge shouts "Hey, Blues! What do you think yer doin down here? You better not have messed up any of my stuff!"

"Caboose, Carrie," Rowe calls out, "What are you two doing down here?"

Carrie freezes while Caboose shouts back "Nothing. We were just, um, we were just looking around. We need to leave anyways. I have to pack."

"Leave?" laughs Grif, he turns to Sarge, "Problem averted, back to—wait." Grif looks back at Caboose and in surprise asks "You're _leaving_ leaving?"

"Leaving where?" Rowe asks looking serious.

"We're going to find Tucker!" Carrie replies.

"The guy in the desert?" Donut asks, "Awesome!"

Grif then cries out "But then there won't be any more Blues here. Which means they'll probably send—"

Carrie then cuts in saying "Actually we're going to go find Tucker and bring him back, that way there will be more Blues for you to fight."

Rowe facepalms while Grif sighs "Why don't I have confidence in this mission?"

Rowe smirks "You better have faith, I'm going with him."

All the Reds looks at her in surprise and they ask "Why?"

Rowe replies "Look at them, he's not going to make it on his own, even with Carrie looking after him, there's just too much that could go wrong."

Caboose laughs, "Thanks for the offer Doctor Rowe, but I believe we will be fine. Yeah, it sounds super dangerous but I'm sure we can manage. I've done dangerous stuff before and I've always come out fine, both physically and…" Caboose just stops for a few seconds, he literally just stops. Carrie nervously shifts her eyes between the Reds while they share concerned glances.

"Caboose?" Rowe asks.

"Mentally!" Caboose joyfully cries out of nowhere causing everyone to jump.

Grif shakes his head and says "Yeah, this is not going to work. Hey, Sarge? Permission to go with Rowe on the Blues' stupid mission?"

"What?" Sarge asks in a confused tone.

"What?" Simmons asks in a similar tone.

Grif then reasons " Don't you see? If he dies on this mission – and let's be honest, _when_ he dies on his mission – that means they won't be back in Command's records yet."

Sarge comments "Well, that's not good."

Grif then adds "But if I help him pull this off, then Command might notice them and put 'em back in."

"Excellent point, Grif!" Sarge muses.

Simmons looks on in disbelief and says "No. It isn't."

Sarge replies nonchalantly "Permission granted." Everyone just stopped at that moment and they all stared at Sarge with wide eyes.

Grif, completely puzzled by the unusual response asks "Um… you've never, actually said that to me before. That means "yes," right?"

Sarge nods as if nothing is wrong "Yes."

Grif nervously nods "Okay, just checking."

"And I'm coming with you!" Sarge announced. It was now Sarge's turn for everyone to be surprised at him.

"What?" Grif asks.

"What?" Simmons asks again,

"Looks like I'm going to be drinking today," Rowe mutters as she glances at the flask in her hand.

Sarge turns to Simmons and asks "Simmons, how about you? You in?"

Simmons rolls his eyes and sarcastically says " I think I'll stay at the base and provide logistical support, sir."

Sarge cheerfully nods "Sounds good. Let's get a move on! We'll either restore the Blues or we'll fail and I get to watch you die! It's a no-lose!"

"Sounds perfect!" Caboose nods.

"How soon can we leave?" Carrie asks.

"Tomorrow," Rowe rpelies, "I'm still waiting for a word from Lockett."

Grif cries out " Wait! You mean Simmons will get to hang out at the base while I go out on a dangerous mission?"

Simmons laughs triumphantly " That's right. Enjoy the limelight, Private Kiss-Ass. I'll just be hanging out here with Donut until you get back." Simmons lets out a fake yawn and says tauntingly "I think it's time for a nap." Rowe holds out her flask towards Grif.

Grif grabs it and he asks "What is this whiskey?"

Rowe replies glumly "Vat 69, only the best for Mrs. Rowe's baby girl."

Grif smirks "Well you know what they say," Grif takes a swig from the flask, "It's a sin to waste good alcohol."

Right as Sarge leaves with Caboose, Donut starts getting excited "Oh man, this is going to be great. It'll be like a sleepover! And we can decorate. How awesome is this gonna be? I'll go get my wallpaper book, Simmons, you be thinking about paint colors! " Donut then runs out after Sarge.

"So, an ordinary day huh Simmons?" Grif asks with a smartass attitude.

Simmons groans "Aw man, I think I'm regretting this already."

 _Linebreak_

The guard walks out from the door and says, "Lieutenant? The Chairman will see you now."

Lockett nods and says "Thank you." He then proceeds into the office. Lockett proceed to walk in and stand at attention.

The Chairman glanced behind him, "Oh, Leftenant Lockett."

"Sir," Lockett saluted.

"At ease," the Chairman walks over to his cabinet, he looks over at Lockett and saw him still standing, "Well, go ahead, take a seat." Lockett nods and proceed to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"You have quite the exemplary military career Leftenant," the Chairman commented as he grabbed two glasses and poured scotch into them.

"Sir?" Lockett asks, slightly confused about the topic.

Chairman hands him a glass, walks back to his desk and continues "You were promoted from an enlisted to an officer quicker than almost anyone I have ever seen and if it weren't for the event that got you courtmashereld and results in your loss of rank and your transfer, I would say you are one of the finest soldiers I have had the pleasure to meet."

 _A handful of those promotions were circumstantial_ , he thought. Lockett glances downward slightly, but he looks back and says "Thank you sir."

"Now, I believe you wanted to see me?" Chairman asks.

"Yes," Lockett snaps to as he remembers why he came, "Sir, the simulation soldiers in Valhalla received a message from an unknown source. It said "It's in the sand." Normally I would have passed it off sir, but it was who sent that message that has me concerned."

Something seemed to spark in the Chairman's eyes, he asks now slightly serious "Who sent the message?"

"Lavernius Tucker," Lockett replies, the Chairman backs up and walks to his filing cabinet. "Sir, I was hoping-"

"You were hoping I could tell you about his where abouts," the Chairman finished.

"That's right sir," Lockett answers.

The Chairman pulls out two files and walks over to Lockett and hands them to him, "A few moments ago, there was an archaeological excavation that was funded by the now defunct Project Freelancer. They were searching for Forerunner artifacts in an old temple they found buried in the middle of a desert. The overseers of the excavation were Lavernius Tucker, and Katie Fergo. Two former associates of yours if I am not mistaken."

"Do you know if anything happened to them?" Lockett asks now worried.

"After the UNSC took back the Freelancer assets, they immediately tried to regain contact with the excavation site," the Chairman explained. Lockett closes the files and places them onto the desk. "The last transmission was made by your friend, requesting help and that they found something, after that it was nothing. We tried to send transports, but it's sandstorm season at this time of the year in that area making air extraction unviable. The only way we could reach them is by land."

"Did you send anymore?" Lockett asks now even more concerned.

"We lost contact with the recovery team we sent a week ago," the Chairman replies darkly, "According to their last transmission, they had just arrived at the site, after that silence."

"We suspect there may be insurrectionist activity involved and since you knew the overseers personally," the Chairman pauses, "I was thinking that you would want to take this mission personally."

Lockett ponders for a moment, he then stand up and asks "When can I start?"

The End

 **Author's Note: There it is, the ending to "Tale of Two C's." Now I can get back to work on the other story. I hope you liked this story as a whole, I hope you liked this chapter. I'll see you all soon, thanks for reading and remember, Big Brother is Watching.**


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